The last 3-4 years have been a pause on many things for us it seems like. A divine pause, even if at times it didn’t feel that way.
A time for learning. A time for refocusing. A time for releasing many things, and taking hold of others.
Through the course of rejection I’ve experienced over the last few years it’s become hard at times to share my thoughts.
I’m not sure why. Maybe fear that sharing my thoughts will give people reason to reject me, or maybe protecting myself from allowing people to know me. I don’t know.
But it’s not a place I want to live.
I’ve observed that “hurt” can easily become an address at which you find your residence if you’re not diligent. Somehow, hurt can become comfortable.
Well, I don’t want comfortable. As much as I like comfortable, I don’t want it.
I want to live in the place where I die to myself.
I was remembering growing up how I would hear messages on that topic frequently. I can’t remember the last time I heard a message on the convicting and life altering truth of dying to self. Picking up my cross. Crucifying myself.
This is not a one-time salvation prayer. This is a daily work. Hour-by-hour, down to minute-by-minute if necessary.
Sometimes it makes me want to mentally stamp my feet because it seems unfair.
But I’m not looking to live a life of self-determined fairness, but one of obedience.
I guess the point in all of this, is the remembrance of dying to self. The way of the world is increasingly self-obsessed. “Do whatever you want!” “Whatever makes you happy!” “No one can tell you what’s right or wrong, just do what makes you feel good.”
While these ideas might seem harmless enough, they’re not. If we profess Jesus, we don’t get to be self-obsessed. If we profess Jesus, we don’t get to do whatever we want.
If we profess Jesus…there is no claim to our life anymore- it’s HIS. If we profess Jesus, it is no longer us who live.*
Lord, help me live this way.
* For to me, to live is Christ [He is my source of joy, my reason to live] and to die is gain [for I will be with Him in eternity]. If, however, it is to be life here and I am to go on living, this will mean useful and productive service for me; so I do not know which to choose [if I am given that choice].
Philippians 1:21-22
I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not ignore or nullify the [gracious gift of the] grace of God [His amazing, unmerited favor], for if righteousness comes through [observing] the Law, then Christ died needlessly. [His suffering and death would have had no purpose whatsoever.]
Galatians 2:20-21
Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover or pretext for evil, but [use it and live] as bond-servants of God.
1 Peter 2:16
