tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76735174370549120902024-03-20T11:41:06.627-07:00Looking Through The Glass Now I know in part, someday I will know fully.Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-76661307667813941892024-01-12T23:22:00.000-08:002024-01-13T00:31:59.674-08:00Worship <p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px;">To be honest, no one has asked my opinion on this, so I’m not really sure who I’m writing this to or for. But I’ve been thinking about this a lot. So here we are.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px;"> </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I’ve been on a few worship teams, I’ve lead a few. I’ve been on a worship team since I was 15 years old (I’m now 36 for reference). It’s been a wonderful way to use my gifts and talents; to give them back to the Lord for His glory, His honor and His purpose. None of it has ever been for me, honestly. Everything has always been from Him and for Him. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And I guess, if someone were to wonder, that’s the key. You want to be a member of worship team? You want to lead worship? </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let me help you. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It’s easier than you think. In today’s church, there might be all sorts of core values and priorities that frankly can distract from one very simple focus. I’ve sat through more collective moral failures than I can count. Sorry for the brutal honesty. It’s frustrated me, even nearly jaded me at times. Forgive me, but it is tiresome to watch leader after leader, team member after team member, fall to immorality and sin. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">There is a simple answer for your worship team, your worship leader, and yourself. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>It has to be a singular pursuit. </b></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let me explain. If you are on a team, or platform or stage for any reason other than to honor God, to submit your will to Him, and give Him glory and praise, you will fail. If you are on a platform for yourself, for your own visions, vain imaginations or desires, you will fail. Your secret desire that you mask and hide and manipulate so no one sees it will find you out. It will be seen. Of this we can be certain, because everything that is hidden will be made known. He sees your desire, even if you think no one else does. God will not be mocked. He will not accept your worship when there is an idol in your heart. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">So how do you avoid this? Tough love time: Give up yourself. Give up your desires and your demands. <i>Pick up your cross* - and follow CHRIST. </i></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I know this is an unpopular idea. An ancient one. It won’t satisfy flesh. But <i>spirit</i> will mature and grow and become more like Christ. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And isn’t that what we want, CHRISTIANS?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The purity of your heart. I don't mean just from immorality. That shouldn't even have to be said (although, believe me, it does). Pride. Your belief that you know better than God. Trust me it's there, in little subtleties, that often go unnoticed. I mean purity of heart, and focus and pursuit. This is what matters. Not a stage. Not a spotlight. That will all disappear. Your precious earthly accolades won’t be with you in eternity. Every step of quiet faithfulness, obedience, humbly yielding your will to the Lord’s, THIS. Every moment we denied ourselves for the sake of Christ, to pick up our cross and follow Him, THIS. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">This is what will stand. And after all, He has set eternity in our hearts.** This is the light in which we live. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><i></i><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Make HIM your singular pursuit. Now. Before there is anyone watching or noticing. Before anyone is impressed. And when there is, make HIM your singular pursuit*** again and again. No more, no less. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><i></i><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><i></i><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>*Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.</i><b><i> </i></b><i>For whoever would save his life[</i><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i>a</i></span><i>] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.</i><b><i> </i></b><i>For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?</i></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>Matthew 16:24-26</i></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><i></i><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>**He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]--yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end.</i></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>Ecclesiastes 3:11</i></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i><br /></i></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>***or the LORD, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts says this, ‘I am the First and I am the Last; And there is no God besides Me.</i></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i>Isaiah 44:6</i></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-68557273009778682272023-06-22T23:18:00.005-07:002023-06-22T23:24:20.861-07:00Peace <p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">A while back, I felt like the Lord showed me we were entering a season of peace.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"> </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Now, the fleshy part of me wanted to hope for peace of circumstance, but I knew better. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Not that circumstances can’t be peaceful. But I doubted that the Lord was going to teach us something that way</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And lo and behold, circumstances did not show themselves to be peaceful. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But that’s ok. Because peace is something that happens </span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">in spite</span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"> of circumstances. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Peace that passes understanding.* </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Peace is not circumstances. Peace is not ease of troubles or concerns. Peace is not sheer simplicity. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Peace is a responsibility, not happenstance. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Peace is a choice. Peace is a pursuit.**</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And our job is to seek it and pursue it. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Being a peacemaker is more than just dispelling squabbles and disagreements. It’s choosing to establish an atmosphere of peace. Peace in our relationships, peace in our homes, peace wherever we go, in whatever we do. To choose the peace that shows the grace of God in us. And maybe, just maybe, a peace that looks a little like Jesus. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I haven’t arrived, by any means. But I’m learning. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And in the midst of learning to shift my focus to pursuing peace, I felt like the Lord told me we would have a peace baby. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Our incredible Fenna. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Fenna: peace </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Dawn: at the first appearance of light. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">She is our reminder of peace, our placeholder to draw us back to the constant pursuit of peace. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Not of circumstance, but in every moment, every hill and valley, to choose PEACE. </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Not to mention, the most precious gift to us. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">* “And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].”</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Philippians 4:7 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">** “Turn away from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.”</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Psalms 34:14 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Maybe the most incredible verse of all in regards to peace: </span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">““Blessed [spiritually calm with life-joy in God’s favor] are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they will [express His character and] be called the sons of God.”</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Matthew 5:9 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Let us be makers and maintainers of PEACE. </span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-75793762891747971352023-05-28T15:10:00.003-07:002023-06-24T09:44:22.571-07:00Fenna Dawn<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Time to share the story of our sweet Fenna Dawn. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pregnancy the fourth time around was much better than number 3. It’s always interesting to me to hear different experiences, but for me, being pregnant with the girls was like a dream compared to being pregnant with the boys. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I felt great for nearly the entire pregnancy with Fenna. Save that first trimester and it’s nausea, and the last couple weeks, which are always the most unpleasant for me. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">So let’s enter the story in that final two-week window. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">My midwife had warned me that since this was my fourth baby I would likely experience more Braxton Hicks than I previously had, and that proved true. Around the last 6 or so weeks I started having contractions daily, and often for hours at a time. Usually they would start in the afternoon and wouldn’t stop until I went to bed. I grew accustomed to them and didn’t pay too much attention to them after a while. However, the last 2 days of pregnancy, I noticed the contractions shifted from the usual kind and seemed to be uncomfortable, even somewhat painful. The first few I wondered if it was real labor, but as I waited, they never increased in frequency, or grew more painful. Again, they went away when I went to bed, so I dismissed it. <br />
So now we come to April 11, and once again, the contractions started up in the afternoon. They were, once again, uncomfortable and somewhat painful, but since there was no real change with them, we carried on like normal. However, that night when I went to bed, the contractions didn’t seem to ease up at all like they had before. I told Sam that these contractions were staying consistent, but that I wanted to go to bed and try to sleep, just in case it was the real thing. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It was probably about 11:30pm by this time, so we went to sleep. Or at least Sam did. I laid there for a while and tried to sleep, but the contractions were uncomfortable enough that I couldn’t sleep. So I got up around midnight and decided to do some laundry and try to figure out if it was really labor. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I walked around the kitchen and living room and tried to rest here and there. Nothing really seemed to change much, but the contractions were definitely uncomfortable so around 1:30am, I called my midwife. I felt silly calling her because the contractions hadn’t increased in frequency but since they were uncomfortable and I needed to mildly breathe through them, I figured better safe than sorry. She had also warned me not to wait to call her, as I tend to have babies fast. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">After listening to me have a couple contractions over the phone she decided she would come and check on things, since it takes about an hour for her to get to our house. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">After that, I woke Sam up and told him I’d called the midwife. In his usual form, he jumped out of bed and started rushing around to make sure everything was ready. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I spent my time walking around in our bedroom and hallway to pass the time. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">At about 2am, I was (finally) fully convinced it was labor. The contractions finally progressed from their constant state of discomfort and mild pain, to the more frequent and intense contractions. So by that point, I was starting to get a little nervous that Winni (midwife) would not make it. Sam calmly told me it was fine if she didn’t make it, and I agreed. We could do it. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sam (my hero) made sure everything was ready while I just focused on each contraction until about 2:40am. My water broke with a pop and gushed down my leg.I squeaked out to Sam that my water had broken and I was starting to feel like I needed to push. He managed to get my pants off and at that moment, there was a knock on the door. Thank goodness, Winni was there. Sam told her my water had just broken and that I was feeling like pushing, so she came rushing in to get all her things ready. She quickly stepped out to call her birth assistant, even though we all doubted she would make in time. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Just as she came back in, I told her I needed to push. I had been leaning on the bed and she told me that it might be better to be on the bed, as sometimes when you deliver standing up, babies can come out too quickly. She suggested a hands and knees position, so as quickly as I could between contractions (and in a most dignified fashion, I'm sure) I catapulted my 38 weeks pregnant self onto the bed. I leaned on my pillows for support and Winni told me to push whenever I was ready, so when the next contraction hit, I started pushing. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I have no real sense of time in those moments, it seemed like a long time to me, but in a couple quick pushes, her head was out (no ring of fire this time) and Winni was in the middle of asking Sam if he wanted to catch the baby, when another contraction hit and she came out lightning fast. Luckily, Sam was ready and did catch her, and handed her to me. Sam commented later that it was about 2 minutes of pushing. I don’t know how that seemed like a long time to me, but my brain was a bit preoccupied. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">So at 2:51am, there she was. Literally perfect, and the first thing we saw were her gorgeous, giant dimples in each cheek. She cried ever so quietly for a minute and then settled right down. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">In retrospect, I never even experienced that slight panicky feeling that usually accompanies transition for me. Like with Kayo, I'm pretty sure transition happened at the same time my water broke, and it all moved too quickly for me to notice. Total labor time was less than 3 hours, but really only about 51 minutes from the time I was positive it was labor. It’s nice to have babies fast, but it’s definitely intense.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Best part of everything was definitely being at home, in my own bed. Our big babies slept peacefully while their beautiful baby sister joined us. It was perfect. They all slept through the whole event, Lennox woke up around 4am, and got to come see his baby sister. He didn’t want to go back to bed, but eventually he settled back down and around 5am, Winni (and the birth assistant who didn’t make it to the actual birth) headed out and left us to get some sleep. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Around 7:30am all the kids woke up and got to come meet their baby sister. Everyone was THRILLED to see her, and they have smothered her in kisses every day since she was born. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I can’t explain how incredibly perfect she is, or how she fits so exactly right into our family. It’s like she has always been here, even though she’s currently only 6 weeks old. Truly thanking the Lord for His goodness in giving her to us, and His mercy in a smooth and simple delivery. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Fenna Dawn</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">April 12 (10 days early), 2:51am </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">7lbs, 8oz</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">20 inches</p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-36487898897265509492022-08-11T13:45:00.004-07:002023-02-02T18:29:26.295-08:00Disappointment <p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-size: 17px; font-style: italic;">I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my innermost self] rejoices; My body too will dwell [confidently] in safety, For You will not abandon me to Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedBody; font-weight: bold;"></span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Psalms 16:8-10 AMP</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I have spent a lot of time thinking about disappointment. Not because I’m currently navigating it, but because it seems to be one of those things that visits infrequently enough that we’re not really ready for it when it does. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I think sometimes we (ok, just me?) fear disappointment more than anything else. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I think disappointment is the one thing that keeps us from truly walking with God, fully and wholly. It’s the line of distance between us. We keep full trust at bay so we aren’t disappointed when things don’t happen the way we thought they would. Subconsciously, we can believe that not fully trusting somehow protects us from the inevitability of disappointment. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Disappointment is crushing. Scripture even talks about this. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Proverbs 13:12</span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Maybe because we cling to the idea that we have some sort of control, that seeing an outcome we didn’t want and can’t change feels unfair. </span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">It shifts our vision, and often, our image of how things ‘should’ look. </span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">It changes our hopes and plans for the future, and frankly, it’s painful. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Personally, I feel like the Lord showed me why disappointment is so painful. And why it’s one more area that I am not walking fully and wholly with God. Big oof. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><i>The reason disappointment is so potent is because I am still fighting for my will. </i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The divide between praise and despair in </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">every</span><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"> circumstance is made by my own resistance. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Instead of surrender to ALL His ways, I want to cling to my outcome. I want to cling to what *I* think God should do. And when He doesn’t, it’s shattering. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is why praise in trial and pain isn’t the first reaction. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedBody; font-weight: bold;">So, the Lord told me, “You want to know the way through disappointment? </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedBody; font-weight: bold;">Surrender.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I feel like we have to pause to let that sink in for a moment. Read it again, real quick and let that sit in your heart. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is how we consider it joy to face trials of many kinds, as James says. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is how we remain content in every circumstance, as Paul says. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">The Lord is the portion of my inheritance, my cup [He is all I need]; You support my lot.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Psalms 16:5 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me], I shall not want.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Psalms 23:1 AMP</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">When we surrender, when we fully give up control, disappointment no longer has a seat at the table. We don’t fear disappointment, because the outcome is not our peace; He is. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The great paradox is giving up control and letting go of my will, and there we find freedom. I don’t mean some elusive idea of freedom that has no tangible meaning. I mean FREEDOM. No longer a slave to fear. No longer captive to my own thoughts or emotions. No longer held by my own outcomes or ideas. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And I’ve experienced it. Instead of feeling a whole range of emotions in the aftermath of disappointment, there is peace. Joy. And yes, a heart that is ready to praise my Savior for His goodness. Thankfulness that He is faithful and present, my close companion no matter what I walk through. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And to know fully that He is worthy of ALL my trust and praise. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s4" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Proverbs 3:5-6 </span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-32209479105997441622022-06-26T13:33:00.004-07:002022-07-08T11:23:13.877-07:00Foundations<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">The earth is the LORD’S, and the fullness of it, </span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">The world, and those who dwell in it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">For He has founded it upon the seas <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And established it upon the streams and the rivers.</span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Psalm 24:1-2</span></i></b> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><i>You, Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning, And the heavens are the works of Your hands;</i></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><b><i>Hebrews 1:10 </i></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I’ve been thinking a lot recently about God establishing the earth. There are many scriptures that confirm this idea, it’s not profound to consider. Even Genesis 1:1 states this idea quite clearly; “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But there is something even more that I have been considering.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I was reading about the Hebrew word for ‘womb’. The word ‘rechem’*, which is derived from the word ‘racham’. The word racham is defined as compassion and mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">This honestly astonished me. The implications of this language are indeed profound. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">First, the womb is intended as a place of compassion and mercy toward mankind: as the Lord opens the womb to bear children. And this is confirmed in scripture when David says that children are a gift, a reward, from God.*** And confirmed again in scripture when it is to the womb of a woman that God sends His Son as a baby.**** THE act of compassion and mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And furthermore, I believe the womb is intended to BE (present and future tense implied)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> a place of compassion and mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">You know I’m going to say it, because the implication is clear. The womb cannot be a place for murder (abortion), because God established clearly his intention for it. It is intended to be a place of compassion and MERCY. Not death. Not murder. This is so important for us to understand as believers because though we might be able to justify many reasons why abortion is acceptable and necessary, it is firmly established in God’s word that it is not. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">He has woven his design and intention into the very language we use so that even if in our lofty humanistic “wisdom” and argument, it cannot be denied. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And honestly, I think this is a beautiful thing to consider. Even if you hate the idea of children, it is incredible that our Creator designed the ability and physiology of our bodies in compassion and mercy. His intention toward us in this matter <b>is</b> compassion and mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It is <b>not</b> burden. Children are not a burden; they are a gift. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Of course, we can discuss nuance in situation and recognize that sometimes there are hardships involved in raising a child. Of course, there can be and are. However, the answer should not be killing a truly innocent human being. As Christians especially, we are unable to escape the reality of God’s word. There is no justification for abortion; for the killing of an innocent baby who cannot speak for themselves. Scripture actually addresses that too.*****<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And no, we will not be countering this conversation with a discussion on gun rights, immigration, illegal immigration, homelessness or capital punishment. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I have plenty of thoughts on these topics, but none of them are going to be addressed here. Just once, we are going to leave this topic as is. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Now, please understand, I am mostly talking to believers, as I think our confusion about this is deeply concerning. </span><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And I do understand how it might be hard to reconcile what you have been convinced is truth with actual Truth.</span><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Even if you choose not to acknowledge God, His design is final. I know that can be hard to accept as well, but it is another inescapable reality. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I am sure that there are many who will disagree, or tell me how incorrect I am. And that's fine. God bless you as you disagree. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I could see how some could still choose to see this in a different light and interpretation, but I would suggest your ultimate issue might be with lordship and therefore you will never yield your position. That will be an issue only you and the Lord can work out. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I hope that instead of being discouraged or frustrated, you find yourself hopeful. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">That even though a child may not fit into the plan or finances or vision you had for your future, it could turn into the biggest and most incredible gift that you cannot even imagine. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">A child is a gift, from a place of compassion and mercy. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And as a woman, you are designed with compassion and mercy built into your body. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">What a gift!!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">*<a href="https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7358.htm" style="color: #954f72;">https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7358.htm</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">**<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320;"> </span>racham: compassion</b><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><a href="https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7356.htm" style="color: #954f72;">https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7356.htm</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">***Psalm 127:3</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Behold, children are a heritage and gift from the LORD, </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">The fruit of the womb a reward.</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> </span><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">****Isaiah 7:14 </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call Him Immanuel. </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> </span><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">*****</span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> Proverbs 31:8-9</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Open your mouth for the mute, </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">For the rights of all who are unfortunate and defenseless;</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Open your mouth, judge righteously, </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">And administer justice for the afflicted and needy.</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> </span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Psalm 82:3-4</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Defend the weak and the fatherless;</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Rescue the weak and the needy;</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in; text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">deliver them from the hand of the wicked.</span></i></b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><b><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></o:p></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-2537228803861367212022-05-24T16:11:00.003-07:002022-05-25T10:24:45.691-07:00Let Go<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">I’ve been in this process over the last 5 years. And the last year I’ve taken time to listen and really hear what the Lord has been telling me. To be still, honestly. To wait.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And truthfully, I’ve written and rewritten this blog. I’ve been struggling with it because I know there’s something to be said, but I hadn’t been able to ascertain the point. I don’t want to miscommunicate what I feel like the Lord is teaching me. I’ve been mulling this topic over for months, and trying to put together some thoughts on it. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The other night on my run, the Lord showed me the real point. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">2 Corinthians 6:14</span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is the point. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I have been struggling with so many different relationships over the last few years. Both in friends, and my own leaders in church. It seems to be the same pattern over and over again, which finally has led me to the conclusion that the Lord is showing me something that I need to deal with *in me.*</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I think it’s important to note that most often, the Lord is going to address our own sin, not just come discipline people who have hurt us- and we should be so thankful that this is the case.*</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">We can waste time trying to hold other people accountable for being selfish and hurtful, OR we can trust the Lord will deal with them. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But I digress. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Back to 2 Corinthians. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I truly believe this scripture is not just about marriage, but includes any relationship or partnership. The key phrasing for me is “mismatched alliances.” </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">These can be people who love the Lord, but are not walking the way you walk. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Transparently, I have had many of these such alliances in my life. I have made the mistake of being so naive to assume because people “love God” and are in church, that they must be a “matched alliance”, as it were. And they were not. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">The yoking is an important picture because these are people who are not interested in keeping pace with you, or carrying their share of the burden. So when the yoke breaks, they’ll be out of sight before they even notice you’re not with them anymore. And when they do, they won’t look back to see what happened, or if you were injured, because they simply don’t care. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Even worse, in my experience, the story they’ll tell is that *you* were the problem and they’re glad to be rid of you. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Ultimately, this is not a tale of how awful those other people are. We can recognize unhealthiness and move on. We aren’t going to give bitterness a foothold**. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is a tale of learning to choose equal yoking. Even just in friendship. If this is not a true course of walking together and equally carrying one another’s burden, it’s not a yoke we can take on. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But make no mistake, we are responsible for the yokes we choose. So, let us mature. Let us choose wisely the partnerships we take on, the yokes we choose to share. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Finding people who are walking the same direction, and are willing to carry the load is actually quite rare. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">In my experience, there will be more misses than marks. And that’s ok. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">It’s ok to “miss out” on opportunities. It’s ok to miss out on something other people are doing because a relationship or friendship is ok for them, but might not be ok for you. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Don’t worry over missing out, you’re not really. All you’re risking is missing out on an unequal yoke. And that will be no loss. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Don’t be afraid to let go of these unequal yokes. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">*”and you have forgotten the divine word of encouragement which is addressed to you as sons, “My son, do not make light of the discipline of the Lord, And do not lose heart and give up when you are corrected by Him; For the Lord disciplines and corrects those whom He loves, And He punishes every son whom He receives and welcomes [to His heart].””</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Hebrews 12:5-6 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">**Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down. And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness].”</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Ephesians 4:26-27 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And a bonus reminder to choose wisely:</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">He who walks [as a companion] with wise men will be wise, But the companions of [conceited, dull-witted] fools [are fools themselves and] will experience harm.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Proverbs 13:20</span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-28712661425345487152021-11-04T11:27:00.002-07:002021-11-04T13:27:40.622-07:00Obedience<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">The last 3-4 years have been a pause on many things for us it seems like. A divine pause, even if at times it didn’t feel that way.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">A time for learning. A time for refocusing. A time for releasing many things, and taking hold of others. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Through the course of rejection I’ve experienced over the last few years it’s become hard at times to share my thoughts. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I’m not sure why. Maybe fear that sharing my thoughts will give people reason to reject me, or maybe protecting myself from allowing people to know me. I don’t know.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But it’s not a place I want to live. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I’ve observed that “hurt” can easily become an address at which you find your residence if you’re not diligent. Somehow, hurt can become comfortable. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Well, I don’t want comfortable. As much as I like comfortable, I don’t want it. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I want to live in the place where I die to myself. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I was remembering growing up how I would hear messages on that topic frequently. I can’t remember the last time I heard a message on the convicting and life altering truth of dying to self. Picking up my cross. Crucifying myself. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This is not a one-time salvation prayer. This is a daily work. Hour-by-hour, down to minute-by-minute if necessary. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Sometimes it makes me want to mentally stamp my feet because it seems unfair. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">But I’m not looking to live a life of self-determined fairness, but one of </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">obedience</span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I guess the point in all of this, is the remembrance of dying to self. The way of the world is increasingly self-obsessed. “Do whatever you want!” “Whatever makes you happy!” “No one can tell you what’s right or wrong, just do what makes you feel good.” </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">While these ideas might seem harmless enough, they’re not. If we profess Jesus, we don’t get to be self-obsessed. If we profess Jesus, we don’t get to do whatever we want. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">If we profess Jesus…there is no claim to our life anymore- it’s HIS. If we profess Jesus, it is no longer us who live.* </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Lord, help me live this way. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">* For to me, to live is Christ [He is my source of joy, my reason to live] and to die is gain [for I will be with Him in eternity]. If, however, it is to be life here and I am to go on living, this will mean useful and productive service for me; so I do not know which to choose [if I am given that choice].</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Philippians 1:21-22 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not ignore or nullify the [gracious gift of the] grace of God [His amazing, unmerited favor], for if righteousness comes through [observing] the Law, then Christ died needlessly. [His suffering and death would have had no purpose whatsoever.]</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Galatians 2:20-21 </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover or pretext for evil, but [use it and live] as bond-servants of God.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">1 Peter 2:16 </span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-16507416472711539722021-09-01T11:55:00.003-07:002021-09-01T12:39:01.406-07:00Number of Days <p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;">Today I was reminded that God is not shocked.</span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;">By anything.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;">He’s not surprised at what’s happening in the world. He’s not surprised by a disease.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px;"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">He’s not surprised by politics or politicians. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">He’s not surprised by wars or rumors of wars.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">He’s not distracted, derailed, or dethroned. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">He’s not surprised by death. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">In my own life, as I take time to process the unexpected loss of a good friend, I trust fully that God was not taken aback. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">In fact, I find it significant and comforting to know that my friend completed the days that were assigned to him. I wish they were longer, but that’s just the unique position of heaven and earth. We’re here, and he is there. I wish that we could still be together. But I believe we’re both exactly where we are supposed to be. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">It’s hard to accept fully. And of course, there are questions. I love questions. And sometimes I hate questions. Because sometimes there are no answers. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I understand wanting to ask why. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Why did this happen? </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Why couldn’t he have been healed? </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Why couldn’t there be a miracle? </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;">I don’t have the answer to any of them. And frankly, I find little comfort in the asking. Because the asking somehow seems out of place. <span class="s1"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Personally, I feel overwhelmed with peace. Peace that God knew the exact number of days. Peace that he knew the exact moment that earthly days would end, and heavenly ones would begin. Peace that while we feel loss, Phil does not. Phil is fully whole, in ways that, for now, we can only long for. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I feel peace that heaven is far, but heaven is close. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">So I’m not asking questions. Not now at least. Not yet. Maybe not at all. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I’m thankful that while the sting of death is present now, it is not forever. I’m thankful for the deep comfort of knowing we will see Phil again. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I had somewhere in my head imagined that Phil would still be our buddy when we were all old and gray, and the reality of that loss is hurtful and maddening. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Heaven is far, but heaven is close. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">So we’ll carry on, in our earthen vessels, </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">until we can all stand together again. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">And what a day that will be.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><i>Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]</i></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i><span class="s1"></span></i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><i>John 14:27 AMP</i></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><i>I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]</i></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i><span class="s1"></span></i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><i>John 16:33 AMP</i></span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-874540828777100972021-07-11T19:55:00.003-07:002021-07-11T19:57:36.513-07:00Kayo Revere <p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Time to share the birth story of our littlest, Kayo Revere Madrid. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It’s always so interesting to see how each pregnancy is so different. Of course there are similarities, but even so, each time around it’s completely individual and unique. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I had started having contractions the last two weeks of pregnancy or so. It started with just a couple afternoons with Braxton Hicks, and then increased to every single day, contractions from the afternoon until I went to bed. With the other kids, I think I experienced a total of 4 Braxton Hicks contractions between the two, so this was totally new. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Even though they were surprisingly strong (not painful, but strong), I eventually stopped paying any attention to them because they were so consistent. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">So finally we arrive at Wednesday, June 16. Officially 39 weeks (which is the most pregnant I have ever been, and I was not stoked about it) and I had a midwife appointment. She reassured me she highly doubted I would be pregnant for much longer, to which I HEARTILY agreed.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Secretly to myself, I really thought it was going to happen that day, but I didn’t say anything because I truly thought it might just be desperate, wishful thinking. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">A quick side note, this was by far my least favorite experience with pregnancy, not to complain, but just to give some insight on why I so desperately wanted to be done with it. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Anyway. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">The day went on as normal, by mid afternoon the contractions were back and doing their usual thing, and I paid no attention to them whatsoever. We continued on our normal routine of dinner, spending time with the kids and their normal bedtime at 8pm. I showered after the kids went to bed, and still wasn’t thinking much about contractions. I was hoping they’d magically intensify, or my water would break, after the kids went to bed, but they seemed to just steady on.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I had been keeping Sam aware of the contractions every day, just in case something happened, but since it wasn't real labor there hadn’t been much to fuss over. As we were getting ready for bed, I commented that these contractions seemed to be pretty consistently strong, probably the strongest they’d been, but I still couldn’t tell if it was labor. He’s a smart guy and listened to his instincts and decided to not go into work the next morning, just to be safe. We went to bed like usual, so we could hopefully get some sleep if things did progress, although I had very little hope it would. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">As I laid in bed, the contractions were uncomfortable, so around 11pm I got up and just decided to do some small chores and watch a movie until I could fall asleep, or things progressed enough that I could tell it was real labor. So I folded the mountain of laundry that had been sitting around and cleaned up the kitchen. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Around 1:30am, Sam got up and came out to the living room after realizing I wasn’t in bed. I’m sure it looked like I was obviously in labor as when he came out I was kneeling on the floor with my head resting on my hands on the couch, but it didn’t feel super intense to me, just uncomfortable. He asked if I had called the midwife (I had not), and asked what </span>I thought. I still couldn’t really tell, but suggested we get things ready just to be safe. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Sam kicked into high gear getting everything set up. He got out the birth box with all the supplies, set up the birth tub, washed our sheets, made the bed and handled everything while I just walked around the living room and kitchen trying to figure out if it was really labor. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I realize it seems like it should be obvious, being as this is my third baby, but hold on, ok. First of all, it was confusing because the contractions were strong, and uncomfortable, but not so intense that I was positive it was labor. Secondly, their timing was also confusing. They would go from 3 minutes apart, to 10 minutes apart. Then drop down to 1-2 minutes apart, then jump back up to 8 minutes apart. It was really confusing, and I think I was nervous to hope it was really labor, only to find out it was just wishful thinking. Again, I realize this might sound dumb, but I was in the throes of desperate pregnancy brain, so cut me some slack. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">At 3am, I figured I should call my midwife, and just update her, and then we could figure out what to do. So I called her and told her how things were going and that I wasn’t really sure it was labor, but she was great and said she would come check immediately. That gave me some peace of mind, and even though I was still concerned that she would show up only to tell me it was not labor at all, or that it was but I was only a tiny bit dilated and it was going to be a long haul. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">Around 3:45am, everything intensified, and I was finally positive it was for sure labor. It takes my midwife about 40 minutes to an hour to get from her house to mine, and she had told me they would probably be there around 3:55am. It took them a little longer, so 3:55am came and went and I was getting a little nervous she wasn’t going to make it. The next </span>20 minutes kind of blur together for me, because the contractions were really intense (intense is just a nice word for painful, FYI), and it was impossible to think about anything else. </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">For some reason, in my head I had thought I would wait for Karen (midwife) to get there to assess everything before filling up the tub and getting in. This was a rookie mistake. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">By 4:05am I knew things were going to happen quick. Poor Sam was rushing around trying to make sure everything was ready, and probably secretly willing Karen to get there so he wouldn’t have to deliver Kayo. Just kidding, he was solid as a rock, and would’ve handled it like a pro if he had to. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I was starting to get that feeling like I wasn’t going to be able to do it, that slight panicky feeling, which I realized looking back was for sure transition, although I didn’t realize it at the moment. A really intense (read: painful) contraction hit as I was leaning on the island bar top counter, and I felt a crazy amount of pressure and then a pop and water gushed down my leg. Internally I was like, uh oh, cause I knew it was gonna happen fast and Karen wasn’t there. Literally at that moment, she knocked on the door. Sam let them in and she came in and set her stuff down. She asked me how I was doing and I managed to squeak out that my water had just broken. She said “great! Let’s check you” and turned to get some things out of her bag when I said “I think I need to push.” </span><span class="s1">She said ok, and then things started to fly. She simultaneously called her assistant in from the car, washed her hands and put on gloves, while telling Sam to get my pants off because I hadn’t been able to do that yet. Contractions were hitting super fast, and Karen asked if I knew where I wanted to be. I couldn’t think of anything so I just squatted down right there on the kitchen floor. She went to check me and said “oh ok, well, we’re gonna have a baby. His head is right there. </span>On the next contraction you can push.” </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">At some point they put a birth stool under me, and I remember commenting how badly it hurt, which I realize sounds dumb, but in the moment what I really meant was maybe the position wasn’t right. Thankfully, Karen knew what I meant and asked if I wanted to move, but I just figured there was no point. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">For the record, and those who aren’t afraid of TMI, this was the only time I ever experienced the “ring of fire.” So...that’s unpleasant. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I felt like I was pushing forever, only for Sam to inform me later it was 3 minutes. Let me just say, it felt a lot longer. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;">But anyway, 3 minutes and 3 pushes later, Kayo came right out and he was literally perfect. 8lbs, 8oz and 21 inches (my biggest baby) of absolute perfection. <span class="s1"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Our midwife walked in the door at 4:10am and at 4:17am our sweet boy was born. Cutting it a little close, but she made it, and that’s really all I cared about. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">I will say, the home birth experience was amazing and if we have any more babies, I would totally do it again. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">It was awesome to be at home and do things the way we wanted. Thank you Lord for protecting us and for a completely smooth and simple delivery. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">It was so fun to be able to get the bigger kids up like normal in the morning and have them come meet their little brother. It was a totally family-centered experience, and exactly what I wanted, minus not making it into the birth tub. But like I said, that was my own rookie mistake. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 20.3px;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1">If you’re a mom feel free to reach out if you have any questions about home birth, I’m an open book and love birth. Let me know if I can help ease your mind! </span></p>Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-36528776600482344722020-06-23T21:48:00.000-07:002020-06-24T07:41:36.694-07:00Abandoned <div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 4px;">
<span style="font-size: 17px;">What makes me feel safe? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I was thinking about this last night. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I realized we often look to those around us for safety. We look to family, and friends; they become our refuge when we feel unsafe. When we need a haven or sanctuary, these are the people we turn to. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">And it was like Holy Spirit interrupted me. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">“What if you don’t have that?” </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I stopped. I rely on that safety. That even if people everywhere else don’t like me or write me off, I enjoy the refuge of family and friends that love me and know me. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">But what if I don’t have that? What if the only refuge I have is the Lord. What if the only approval I have is the Lord’s? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Can I be ok if the only approval I have is His? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Why is that the last one on my list? </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Let’s be honest. Approval feels good. We like it. It gives us confidence and boosts our ego. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">But I think trouble is quick to follow when we start looking around to see who agrees with us. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">In contrast, abandonment is hard. David talks about this in Psalm 27. In verse 10 he says, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”</span></div>
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<span class="s2">He was in the midst of it as he wrote these things. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Jesus was betrayed by Judas, and abandoned in his most crucial hour by those closest to him. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I’m realizing abandonment is a reality we must learn to live with. We must learn to walk through it and become whole again on the other side. We don’t limp forward, band-aiding up our bullet holes and hoping for the best. We don’t pretend they don’t exist, or act like they don’t hurt. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">We treat the whole wound. We go to the root. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I’ve been abandoned by many relationships throughout the course of my life. It has been painful every time. Truthfully, it takes years to process this pain and subsequent healing.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">It is not immediate. I’m still processing some of them. Still walking out the healing part. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">A few things need to be said about this kind of healing: </span></div>
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<li class="li3" style="font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: Menlo-Regular; font-size: 10px;"></span><span class="s2">Forgiveness is everything. There is no healing without forgiveness.</span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians </span><span class="s5" style="direction: ltr; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; unicode-bidi: embed;">3:13</span><span class="s2"> </span></li>
</ul>
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<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
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<li class="li3" style="font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: Menlo-Regular; font-size: 10px;"></span><span class="s2">Bitterness feels safe and can disguise itself as health- it’s not. Don’t fall for it. </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 </span></li>
</ul>
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<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
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<li class="li3" style="font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: Menlo-Regular; font-size: 10px;"></span><span class="s2">Real love can overlook offenses because real love forgives. Real love is wise, and real love has boundaries. Real love knows what to guard and what can be given away. </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 </span></li>
</ul>
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<span class="s2">Jesus knew that Judas would betray him. He knew his disciples would deny him and leave him. He loved them anyway. He walked with them for the time they were assigned to be close. But Jesus knew in spite of betrayal and denial that the will of the Father was best. That made drinking the cup possible.* </span></div>
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<span class="s2">It made it bearable.</span></div>
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<span class="s2">We have to learn that the best approval** we can have is the Lord’s. We have to learn that if everyone around us denies, abandons and forgets us, that He is enough. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Because denial </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">will</span><span class="s2"> happen. Betrayal </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">will</span><span class="s2"> happen. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">But it </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">doesn’t</span><span class="s2"> have to be the defining wound. It doesn’t have to be the line in the sand where we became jaded and bitter. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">It </span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">can</span><span class="s2"> be another place in the journey to really becoming holy. To really be like Jesus. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Don’t give up in the bitter valley. Jesus is there, walking beside, bringing us into true wholeness and healing, if we’ll let him. </span></div>
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<span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">* “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Mark </span><span class="s5" style="direction: ltr; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; unicode-bidi: embed;">14:36</span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;"> </span></div>
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<span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">**“Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”</span></div>
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<span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;">Galatians </span><span class="s5" style="direction: ltr; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; unicode-bidi: embed;">1:10</span><span class="s4" style="font-style: italic;"> AMP</span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-59567777045245820412020-05-19T22:24:00.002-07:002020-05-19T22:33:09.459-07:00Essa Mayne<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Once again, I write for memory’s sake. I hate the idea of forgetting a moment in time so special and significant. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">We’ll rewind a bit, just to help get in the mindset of where we were. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">The majority of my pregnancy with Essa was really easy. Very little nausea, or discomfort the majority of the time. While fatigue was a constant and heartburn came with a vengeance; there was very little to complain about. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">That is until the last 5-6 weeks. Then it all seemed to kick into high gear. I went from being fine to suddenly being uncomfortable no matter what I did. Sitting, standing, lying down, it didn’t seem to matter; everything was miserable. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Not to mention, with Sam leaving for a 10 week training academy 6 days after Essa’s due date, I was just ready to be DONE. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">So we’ll fast forward to February 6. To me, it was like every other stinking day going by, without a contraction in sight. At that point I had done everything possible to start labor, from jogging to scrubbing floors on my hands and knees to eating any spicy food I could get my hands on. Nothing seemed to do a thing. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">Sam had come home from work and we were sitting in the living room chatting when all of the sudden, I felt my water break. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">This was quite a different experience than with Lennox, as my water didn’t break until I was in the hospital already well into labor. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I went to the bathroom just to make sure I hadn’t involuntarily peed myself (pregnancy sucks y’all), and was quite positive my water had broken. I came out and told Sam who sat there for a second before he asked “do we need to go to the hospital right now?” I laughed and said “no way, I’m not even having contractions.” </span></div>
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<span class="s2">So we waited. I finished packing my hospital bag and packed things for Lennox who would be going to spend the night at his grandparent’s house. Contractions started but were really nothing, so I didn’t worry too much. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">A couple hours later we headed into the hospital, handed Lennox off to Grandma (Eleanor), and went to get checked in. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">The nurse who checked us in informed us that it was busy night, and she was not kidding. We sat in triage from somewhere around 9:30pm-11:45pm before finally getting taken back to a room. </span></div>
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<span class="s2">I was rather annoyed because we sat in triage for so long, but mostly that labor did not seem to be progressing in any real way. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Finally we got settled into our room, and we decided to try to sleep, since we didn’t know how quickly things would go. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Unfortunately, I only closed my eyes for about 30 minutes before real contractions hit around 12:30am. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I let Sam sleep as long as I could, but around 2am I woke him up. It was getting too intense to try to distract myself. As usual, he came in clutch and talked to me, told me stories and made me laugh as much as possible. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I was SO tired around 3am, and momentarily considered getting an epidural just so I could sleep. But I quickly dismissed that thought and determined to stick it out. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Around 3:55am the nurse came in and checked me and said I was about 7-8 centimeters dilated. She commented that I’d probably be having the baby in about an hour or so. That gave me serious hope. Haha. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">However, I kid you not, about 30 seconds after the nurse walked out of the room I sat up and told Sam “oh my gosh, I need to push.” </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">He called the nurse ASAP who booked it back into the room and checked and was shocked to say I was at 10 centimeters. Quick side note, I had no idea you could jump from 7-8 to 10 centimeters in literally 30 seconds flat, but that’s a whole other thing. The nurse then told me I needed to wait to push until the doctor came. This is my one GIANT frustration with hospital birth. I did not like being told to wait to push, and there was little direction on what to do while I was waiting. I lost track of how I was breathing and commented that my hands were going numb to which I was told “you’re not breathing.” Trying to connect that to something logical whilst being 10 centimeters dilated and told not to push is asking a lot. But somewhere in the midst of that rational thought kicked in and I started taking deep breaths again and the numbness disappeared. After what seemed like an eternity (I’m sure it wasn’t) the doctor showed up and I got to push. 3 pushes and less than 5 minutes later, our perfect Essa was born. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">She was little and petite and exactly right for us. </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I said two things immediately after seeing her face the first time. The first was “she looks like Lennox!” and the second was “Babe, she is totally Essa.” That might sound dumb, but I like to see their faces before I know for sure if the name we picked out is right. As soon as we saw her, we knew her name was exactly right. </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">All in all, it was a very simple birth. No complications, tears or anything else. Just funny, because it went so slow until it didn’t. There was nothing until it kicked in, and then it was high gear. I rather imagine that’s like our Essa girl. </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-55923621126338595842020-03-18T23:13:00.000-07:002020-03-18T23:17:33.740-07:00We'll Tell Them I sat for a quiet moment today, just thinking about things. Babies asleep, sweet and peaceful.<br />
I've wondered what to say, or share these days. Everyone seems quick to speak and share opinions. But as we stare this new disease in the face and the world seemingly closes in on itself...I don't care to be frivolous with words.<br />
<br />
To be sure, this is an old enemy we're facing. Sure, the disease is new. But our enemy is not. He never is. So we don't have to be afraid. We know this enemy has been defeated. But it's up to us to obey the word of the Lord. We won't fear.<br />
The Lord is not shocked by Coronavirus, or earthquakes, or fires, or floods, or anything else.<br />
He doesn't fall off of His throne.<br />
<br />
So as I sat quietly today, I thought about my kids. And someday, when they're older, we'll tell them about all this. They're innocent and unaware now, but someday we'll tell them about this. We'll tell them about the year the world changed. We'll tell them how it shifted us, and changed us. We'll tell them how our collective priorities changed. We'll tell them how our lives were altered in the course of a moment.<br />
But most of all, we'll tell them about what the Lord did. We'll tell them about who He was in the midst. We'll tell them how He was faithful. We'll tell them how He sustained us. We'll tell them how He was near. We'll tell them how He was good. We'll tell them how He was kind. We'll tell them how He loved us. We'll tell them how He never changed, not even a little. We'll tell them about His peace, that truly passes all understanding.<br />
We'll tell them how we leaned in closer than ever before, and we'll tell them how He led us.<br />
<br />
And honestly, I can't wait. I can't wait to tell them about the world they grew up in. I can't wait to show them that our God is the God of then and now. The same, always. Every story in His word isn't just who He was, it's who He is NOW. I can't wait to tell them that He can be trusted, even when we don't understand.<br />
<br />
Really, all I'm saying is, we're living in the times we're going to tell our children about.<br />
So let's open our eyes wide, and ask the Lord to show us all the things we need to see.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>We will not hide these truths from our children;</b><br />
<b>we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord,</b><br />
<b>about his power and his mighty wonders. </b><br />
<i>Psalm 78:4</i><br />
<br />Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-84462796418582619682019-12-28T19:22:00.001-08:002019-12-28T19:22:37.235-08:00Spark <div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We don’t believe the lies </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We don’t let them in </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We won’t let fear beat us </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We know it loses in the end </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We won’t give up in the battle </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We have the fighter spark </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We won’t run away in the losses </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We don’t lose faith in the dark </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We’ll hold our ground steady </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We sing our victory song loud </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We follow the fire </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">And hold firm for the cloud </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We’ll believe beyond reason </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">Even with darkness covering </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We’ll hold onto Your goodness </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">Even when nothing is all we’ve seen </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We’ve walked in the valley </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">And through the deep of night </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">We keep moving forward </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">Because this is </span><span class="s2" style="font-style: italic;">faith</span><span class="s1">- not sight </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
We may not know what’s next </div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">It’s not for us to see </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">But we’ll trust You more than ever </span></div>
<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1">As You make us who were meant to be </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-34717157792103576392019-10-23T09:50:00.002-07:002019-10-23T09:53:42.121-07:00Drift Away <div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 22px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: 17px;">I see you drifting far away</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Far from where we are </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I wonder why you drift away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Headed for a different star </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I see you drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">There’s nothing to be done </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I’ll watch you as you drift away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Until the light is gone </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
I see you drifting far away </div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">As you sing a different song </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I still see you drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Choices pulling you along </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I see you drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">As far as I can see </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">You keep drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
Far away from me </div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I see you drifting far away</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">No more tears to cry </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Forever drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I’ll always wonder why </span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I see you drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">What’s left is running dry </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">You’re still drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Into a different sky </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I see you drifting far away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">The end is coming now </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I wish you wouldn’t drift away </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2"></span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">I can’t stand to watch you drown</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span class="s2"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Drift away my little star</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">There’s nothing left to be </span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Farewell, my little star</span></div>
<div class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s2">Someday come back home to me </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-90509227055549692692019-10-01T19:52:00.000-07:002019-10-01T20:00:24.500-07:00Frustration <div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.</span></i></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Psalm 57:7</i></span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m so thankful for scripture. It’s a refuge in every season. It rights our perspective, comforts our hurts, shifts our attitude, humbles our pride, and brings us back to where we need to be: a submitted heart. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">IF we’ll let it. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Today I found myself dealing with frustrations. Circumstances, people, you name it. </span></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I went to the Word, and I went to prayer. Because, well, that’s all I know how to do. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I simply told the Lord, “I’m frustrated. And I don’t know what to do.” </span></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And as I just stood in silence for a few moments I felt the Lord remind me that the biggest frustration I’m dealing with is ME. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My own expectations. I want MY way. I know best. I have the answers. </span></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the real problem. Not the other people. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 20.3px;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I felt the Lord remind me to just be faithful. To serve. To do so with JOY. </span></span><br />
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because this is what the Lord is presenting me with. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He’s not extending me the opportunity to have my way or fix the problems. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The opportunity he’s giving me is to faithfully serve, with joy. </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That’s it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's actually a simple thing. And I'm always reminded of 2 Kings, where Naaman is told to go wash in the river and he almost refuses until his servant says "If the prophet had told you a difficult thing, wouldn't you have done it?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why do we always reject the simple thing? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I digress.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You know what happened next? </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All the frustration disappeared. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s not that it won’t come back. It will. But then I can CHOOSE to be self-disciplined. I can CHOOSE not to be frustrated. I can CHOOSE to joyfully fulfill my assignment in this season: EVEN IF IT’S NOT THE ONE I WANT. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It really is a choice. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Is it easy? No. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fun? Not always. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Does it bring accolades or spotlights? No. </span></span><br />
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But that's not what we're here for. We're here to serve.</span></span><br />
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all." </i></span></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mark 9:35</span></i></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-9250461159038419022019-09-06T10:14:00.001-07:002019-09-06T17:51:50.224-07:00Idols<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Why do they matter? What are they? We’re not too familiar with this idea anymore. We tend to think that idols are something passed away, from a long time ago. Not too many of us are out in the backyard constructing some sort of golden calf, as it were. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Is this still relevant? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think the answer is emphatically, YES. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s true, we’re not out building statues of wood or metal to pray to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But often do we devote ourselves to something other than Christ? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Devotion is a confusing word. We don’t really put anything we do in the same category as Christ. But don’t we let so many other things shape how we think? <br />
How we think about life, how we think about others, how we think about ourselves? Doesn’t our thought process drive our actions? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We think or we feel something, and then most often, we do something based on that thought. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Let’s think about a tangible example: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We think “I’m fat.” Or often, more accurately, we feel “fat” and then thought and feeling drives us to an action. And of course, we all react differently. Maybe your reaction is to eat more, eat more unhealthy things, and spiral into an emotional eating habit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Or maybe your reaction is to go the other way. Instead you begin to discipline yourself in the name of getting healthy. You work out a lot. You don’t eat anything “bad.” You feel guilty when you do. So you get more strict. Maybe you stop eating some meals altogether. In the name of “health.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">There are many examples, and other avenues this can take. But ultimately, we’re letting something have a throne in our lives other than Christ. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Why does it matter, you might ask? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Psalm 115:2-8 (emphasis added) </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Why do they nations say, </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“where is their God?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Our God is in heaven,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">he does whatever pleases him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But their idols are silver and gold,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">made by human hands.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">They have ears, but cannot hear,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">noses, but cannot smell.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">They have hands, but cannot feel, </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">feet, but cannot walk,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">nor can they utter a sound with their throats.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Those who make them will be like them, </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b>and so will all who trust in them. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The biggest reason this matters, is we become like the idols we allow in our lives. We stop hearing. We stop feeling. Our perception is interrupted by a new perception that we think is truth, and in reality, it’s a lie. </span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I don't know about you, but I don't want anything to take the place of Christ in my life. I definitely don't want to have ears and not hear, hands and not feel because of my own choices. </span><br />
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This is why we need trustworthy friends. That person we let say the hard things; the things that sting. We need that friend who knows what we’re capable of and encourages us to not live like we’re anything less.<br />
I think it’s interesting that a popular topic these days is accountability. We’re in a generation that rejects accountability on the “don’t judge me” concept. Accountability isn’t judgement. Accountability says “there’s more in you, there’s better in you than this.” It’s a call and helping hand to propel you to the greatness that’s in you. Accountability isn’t “wow, look at all the terrible things you did”, accountability is “wow, look at the amazing things you are made to do.” If you don’t have that in your life, you are truly missing out.<br />
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Obviously, these are two separate topics, but not really. Because good accountability will alert me to an idol in my life. If I can just be humble and hear them out, instead of immediately justifying and getting defensive.<br />
If I can have ears to hear, accountability might save me from the idol I’m building. </div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-51013924368902937982019-07-29T14:08:00.000-07:002019-07-29T15:28:07.594-07:00Prison <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I keep thinking about Paul. So many critical moments and teachings came from the prison. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Yet he had joy. He was full of joy actually. He had peace. He was content. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sadly, I find myself completely dissatisfied in my own life when I’m not where I want to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">What if the prison is where we’re called to be? What if we never leave it? Will I be content? Full of joy? Peace? Sometimes the prison doesn’t have bars or walls. Sometimes it’s a season of life. We want it to be over, but it lingers on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I find myself relating to Paul. Don’t worry, I’m not that arrogant; I know I’m not in chains for the gospel. But the place I’m in seems very disconnected. Isolated. Out of touch. I feel like I’m out of the game. On the sidelines where no one even remembers I used to play. As a person of action, this is tough. I’m an all or nothing person, and when it comes to Jesus, it’s ALL. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But here I sit on the bench, longing to get back in the game and do something useful again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But I look at Paul. Not once do I get the impression that he felt like he was out of the game. If anything, he rejoiced that he was in the will of God. He never counted himself out. How? What is this perspective?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know that where I am is where I’m supposed to be. It’s time to quiet the questions. Because if I never leave the prison, I don’t want it to change a thing. That no matter what happens, I conduct myself worthy of the gospel of Christ. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Paul never gave up. He never despaired. What if he wasted time comparing himself to others outside the prison? What a different story he would have told if he had. There’s a reason Paul was chosen for the prison. It couldn’t have been just anyone. What an honor. I want to live that way. I want the Lord to entrust difficult things to me. Not because I’m so awesome, but because I’m faithful. Because I’m a good steward. Can he trust me with the prison? Even if I never leave it? Lord, help me, I hope so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I just want to be faithful where he’s called me. One day at a time. I want to rejoice. I want to be full of joy. That every cell mate would see Jesus in me. Not despair. Not hopelessness. Not defeat. Not frustration. Just Jesus. </span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And really, this is who we’re supposed to be. As believers, hope is our thing. Joy is our thing. Peace is our thing. We’re not like those who don’t know and are tossed around by everything that comes their way. No matter what we face, we have the option to choose joy. To choose hope. To choose peace. To choose to be content. It’s up to us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So here I sit on the sidelines. Patiently. Joyfully. Gratefully. Thankfully. Content to be here. </span><br />
<span style="font-kerning: none;">And believing that even here, I’ll live to the fullest every moment the Lord gives me. </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-499816292020370392019-07-20T20:42:00.002-07:002019-07-20T20:42:51.952-07:00Tension <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">When I look around these days, I see a lot of tension. Everywhere. There is no place that seems to lack for it. There are conflicting voices and opinions flying around faster than we can keep up, quite frankly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We all seem to be in a race to have the loudest opinion, the best argument, the quickest shut down, the wittiest retort, you name it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Overall, we seem quite keen to make others feel foolish, and regret sharing their opinion at all. We’re masters at the art of ostracizing, even if it’s people we used to respect or care for. It little matters now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">That wouldn’t be so troubling to me, if believers weren’t as quick to jump into the fray as everyone else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know, we all want to share Truth in these times where truth has becoming purely subjective.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">In some regard, I don’t disagree. I think there should be a voice for Truth, especially now when the world has traded Truth for lies. I think there are some moral issues in our day that are impossible to stay silent about.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Personally, the madness we’re currently seeing in our world makes me want to address every lie with a megaphone, if we’re being honest. But I have to realize that as we move closer to the end of things, it’s only going to get more insane. More backwards. Filled with even more lies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But here’s what’s so concerning to me, fellow Jesus-followers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We don’t need to share opinions for opinion’s sake.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If we put our voice into the mix, and it is utterly devoid of Christ, what good is it?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Just another opinion? Another argument to be had? To what end? Will someone come to know Jesus through your argument? Will someone feel loved, cared for, or heard? Will someone see that there is real hope?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’m afraid not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Romans 2:4* talks about how it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s a simple thought: If we are not kind, how will anyone ever believe that He is??</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">1 Corinthians 13:1** says that without love in our speech, we’re nothing more than a lot of noise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Now I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If there is no love in our speech, it’s just an obnoxious sound that no one will listen to.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I find myself increasingly concerned that in this era of tension and constant information we believers are getting swept along with it. We’re getting sucked into needing to shout our opinions along with everyone else, in the name of truth. Maybe we're worried that we need to do something, so anything is better than nothing. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">But we can’t do it like everyone else. We can be unyielding in our commitment to the Word of God, and still be kind. Again, why will anyone care about a God who loves them if we who represent him are unkind, unloving and just plain ugly?</span><span style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We’re made to live in the tension and not be overcome by it. We can do this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">All I know is that the tension isn’t going to go away. If anything, it’s getting worse. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So we have to be aware. We can’t be flesh people anymore, we have to be spirit people, and live like it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.***</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">As scripture says, against such things there is no law.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">*Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Romans 2:4 </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">**If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">1 Corinthians 13:1 </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">***But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Galatians 5:22-23</span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-64055711188316022872019-04-23T22:03:00.004-07:002019-04-24T16:41:04.275-07:00Hidden<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hidden</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Out of sight </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It's just me and you </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where no one remembers </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where no one else goes</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where I'll submit </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hidden </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Out of comfort </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Out of certainty</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We're proving worthy </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hidden </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where you show me </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where you find me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Where I find you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">No other place to be</span> </div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-35767303510000583032019-04-16T13:45:00.000-07:002019-04-16T16:37:16.315-07:00Pride<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve been thinking about pride a lot lately. I’m bothered by it. I see it differently now than I used to. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes I think we’re confused about what pride really is. Growing up I thought pride meant thinking way more highly of myself than was accurate. Or thinking I was really awesome at something when I wasn’t. And sure, you could say that those things are prideful. Or delusional, maybe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But I’ve found pride is far more pervasive and subtle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">People like to say that pride is simply thinking of yourself more than you should. I disagree. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Thinking of yourself more than you should is called being selfish. Pride and selfishness are connected, sure. But they are not one and the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Pride is in everything we think. Pride is in everything we do. Pride is a filter through which everything we think flows. Meaning, everything we think, the choices we make, how we view the world is filtered through pride. Pride controls our perspective. Pride keeps us from seeing what’s true, and makes the truth sound like a lie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ultimately pride equals trust. I trust what *I* think. I trust what *I* know. Simply, I trust ME. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is pride. Pride quietly and subtly enforces the house of thought that says “I KNOW BEST.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s hard for us to recognize this or admit it. Because we’re very good at justifying why our pride is not and could never be pride. But we need to understand that this is pride’s tactic. To never be recognized. Because when we see pride for what it is, it loses it’s hold on us. As long as we deny our pride, it holds all the power and we remain slaves to it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You could wonder why this matters. Because you could make the argument that your pride really isn’t hurting anyone else. And for a while, that is probably true. But that won’t last. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s why: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Proverbs 16:18 </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This matters because we need to understand that the Word of God is ALWAYS true. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This matters because we need to understand that we can’t control the fallout our pride will lead us into. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We cannot control who our pride will hurt. When that destruction hits (and it will), it will destroy whoever is in our path. That could be husbands or wives, our children. Our friends, siblings, people who look up to us. The list goes on, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. It will be painful beyond our imagination. Beyond our highest thought. All the things we were sure we knew won’t matter at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know this is hard to believe, and as you’re reading it, you’re getting flustered or upset. Because you’re seeing areas of your life that could be deeply infiltrated by pride, and it’s scary. Because to put down the pride makes us vulnerable. We have to release all control. We have to truly acknowledge that God does know best and we DO NOT HAVE TO UNDERSTAND. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I know it can seem like there is no hope. But there is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We can be humble. We can humble ourselves. It might be hard to know where to start. And this is why the Holy Spirit is such a good friend. He’ll show you where the pride is. He surely has and continues to show me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Humility is our only safe path. It’s hard, I’m not going to lie to you. It will seem really unfair. Humility will demand more of you than anything else. But consider for a moment all that is at stake. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your children could be at stake. Your future could be at stake. All your hopes and goals could be at stake. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Pride sits in firm opposition from the Lord. It always has, and always will. It draws the battle lines and hopes we’ll take up arms on it’s side. And most often, we do. Because pride doesn’t sound prideful. Pride sounds like us. It sounds pretty good, right, reasonable, logical and understandable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Remember for a moment, Eve, in the Garden. Why did she eat the fruit? Because she was concerned that maybe there was something SHE didn’t know. And that desire stamped out trust. Her need to be in control was greater than continuing in humble trust that God was in control and that everything he had set up was best. </span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">John 8:32 says that the truth will set you free. This is a spiritual principle. I believe this isn't just about KNOWING the truth. But in every area of our lives, when we know the TRUTH and when we ADMIT the truth (even if it's ugly and wrapped up in our sin and pride) that is when we can truly be FREE. We can't be free from things we can't admit are true.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Humility is quiet. Humility learns to sit in the unseen and be content. Humility learns to go unnoticed and overlooked and not become bitter. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Humility is willing to admit it's not in charge. It smiles and says “I don’t know best.” It doesn’t demand control, because humility knows it can’t be in control.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s the harder position, because in our pride we want to know best. But it’s the safer position. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Humility is what keeps us close to the Lord. </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-12345775002205715672019-03-30T22:05:00.000-07:002019-05-02T14:22:02.119-07:00Disillusion <div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I was singing these words to my son today while getting him dressed, “all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so, so good.”</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And the words caught me for a moment, as I looked into Lennox’ big brown eyes as he watched me sing. Some day I’ll have to explain why I sing the phrase “all my life You have been faithful.” I’ll have to show him and tell him why those are not just words I mindlessly sing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Those words have deep meaning. They’ve come from years of faithfulness. Years of serving. Painful seasons. Hard seasons. Humbling seasons. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think when we’re young it’s so easy to get disillusioned. We have expectations of exactly how things should happen, how things should look, and when it’s different the disappointment hits hard. We start to wonder, “where are you, God?” “Why did you let this happen?” “Why didn’t you stop this?” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Believe me, I get it. These were questions I was asking not that long ago. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think we misinterpret the faithfulness of God. I think sometimes we think because God is good, he won’t let bad things happen to us. Because he’s faithful, he’ll keep us from suffering. Because we do all the “right things” nothing should be going wrong. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But that’s not what faithfulness is. Faithfulness means that when I stand in the fire, he stands with me. Faithfulness means when I’m walking in the valley of the shadow of death, he’s walking with me. Faithfulness means that whatever comes, he is with me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes we wait to see the big miracle, but it doesn’t come. We lived that last year in the Madrid home. We waited and believed for a big miracle. We didn’t see it. We woke up on June 15, 2018 and saw nothing. There was no big miracle. We were at a complete loss. We didn’t know where to go, where to start, what to do, nothing. We had no answers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We were being catapulted into a new realm of faith and trust. One we never would have asked for, or hoped for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Since then, we’ve seen miracles. New opportunities, new jobs, etc. But we don’t celebrate the job as if that’s the only expression of God’s faithfulness. We celebrate his faithfulness because he was faithful to us when there was no job. I believe it is the kindness of God, the nature of God, to provide for us. But faithfulness is not just what he does, it’s who He is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We saw his faithfulness that whole summer when we had no answers. We saw his goodness in the nothing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Disillusionment bothers me. Because we’re all susceptible to it. We all go through hard things. We all face heartbreak and heartache. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re the only person who has had to face something hard and that makes your disillusionment ok. This is something everyone can understand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">What changes things is when we understand who God really is, in spite of everything we see with our eyes happening around us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You have to know that He is for you. In every situation, He is for you. He is working out the very best for you in every moment. When you’re lost, and hurting, He is right there with you. He doesn’t disappear when things go crazy. He’s the Rock. He doesn’t move, change, or leave. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is why we have to learn the secret of being content, no matter what comes. The Apostle Paul said it so well, “For I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Life is hard sometimes. But don’t give up. If you hear nothing else, hear that. Don’t give up. It won’t be dark forever, there is HOPE. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,</i></span><span style="color: #0092f2; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 6.7px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><i><sup>c</sup></i></b></span><span style="font-kerning: none;"><i> who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Philippians 4:11-14</i></span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-12143084353118846082019-03-19T21:36:00.001-07:002019-03-19T21:36:51.329-07:00Songwriting<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">A while back I was asked to share about my songwriting process. To be honest, it’s taken me some time to figure out what to say about it.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And honestly, we have to dig a little deeper in order to have this conversation. I’m not going to sit here and give you 10 tips on how to be a better songwriter. Sure, I can give you some ideas, and share my thoughts on what I do. But it’s bigger than that. </span></div>
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We need to talk about identity. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Here’s the truth: I’m not a “songwriter.” That’s not a title I carry around or identify myself by. For a long time growing up I was trying to figure out that “title.” How many songs did I need to write in order to consider myself a “songwriter?” How many stories, or poems to call myself a “writer” and not be considered a total fraud? </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I think we really like titles. It makes things easy and we can fit everything into a certain box that makes sense to us. But I could never find a title that fit. Truly. In my head I tried on a dozen different titles and none of them seemed to embody my identity. Like a puzzle piece that’s almost right, but still not quite, nothing fit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">About 2 months ago, I had this revelation about my identity. I realized I’m a storyteller. And I know lots of people like to claim that title, but there’s nothing cliche about it for me. Because let me tell you, I can look back over my whole life and see how being a storyteller is entwined throughout every moment. All the way back to childhood. It’s in everything I do. It’s how I view the world; how I view people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This was a very important epiphany for me. It changed the way I view what I do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So first of all: </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You need to know who you are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">If you don’t know who you are, you’ll forever write from an imposter’s point of view. You’ll waste countless years writing from a perspective that isn’t yours and doesn’t fit. It won’t ever communicate what you want it to, because it’s not YOU. You’ll be standing outside the window, looking in at what you want to say but never being able to get to it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So first things first, you need to discover who you are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Once you understand that, the rest gets a lot easier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">For me, songwriting is equal parts process and discipline. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes I just have to sit down and work and work at a song, and try a million different things until you find the thing that works. It involves throwing out a lot of ideas, even ones you really wanted to work. It's not giving up quickly when the idea isn't there. The discipline of spending time and effort on an idea is so valuable because sometimes that discipline really does lead you to the result you wanted. Believe me, I've sat at keyboard and played the same chord progression dozens and dozens of times over trying to shape an idea. It's worth it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But other times I have found there’s a significant process to (song)writing. I have songs that have sat on the proverbial shelf for years until one day an idea hits me for it. I have songs that I wrote 10-15+ years ago that had a verse or chorus I didn’t like so I didn’t finish the song because I couldn’t “find” the right part. But then I take it out one day, play through it and find the exact phrase that was missing. I’ve learned I have to be ok with that process. Some songs take time to finish. I think songs have seasons. It’s possible I couldn’t finish the song because that song isn’t “in season” yet. Might sound weird, but it’s definitely been true in my experience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was important for me to realize I can’t force something to happen. I’ve yet to see that produce anything. If I try to force something to fit just because I want be done with a song, it’s rarely (if ever) what I want it to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve also found that sometimes I don’t know what I want a song to be, but I definitely know what I don’t want it to be. And I've had to learn to be ok with that tension until I find what I'm looking for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Writing is spiritual to me. I can’t just sit down and write something for the sake of writing. There has to be purpose in it. And for me, the purpose always leans toward the eternal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I tend to find creativity for it’s own sake is pointless, irrelevant, even. I’m not a good enough writer to sit down and throw something on a page for no reason and have it turn into something worth reading. The truth is, I don’t enjoy reading things that have no purpose. Because for me, it’s about storytelling. Storytelling for no purpose is not really storytelling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">People need to be inspired. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">People need hope. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Those are huge priorities to me in writing. It’s fine to write about hard things, but I think you have to give people a light on the horizon somewhere. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">That’s a window into my process, if you want to talk tips or how to write that’s a whole other thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But if you have questions, don’t be shy. I love questions. </span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-58004064919464785072019-02-16T21:18:00.000-08:002019-02-16T21:18:04.536-08:00Less of Me <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<i>He must become greater; I must become less. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>John 3:30</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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We’ve heard it before. We’ve said it. Made little jokes here and there. We’ve said it sincerely.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“More of him; less of me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know I’ve said it. But I have to be honest, in my life recently, I’m seeing the reality of that phrase a lot more than I’d like. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Most often we say that phrase in reference to His presence. We want more of his presence. And in our heads, we think it ends there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But here’s what I’m seeing:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means literally LESS of ME. It’s not that I somehow just evaporate in the presence of the Lord and I’m some weird ethereal being that floats around in a holy, unbothered state.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means when someone is hurtful to me, I don’t run around proving how I’m right and they’re wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means loving people who hurt me. Over and over and over again (you think it’s for nothing that Jesus essentially told Peter to forgive endlessly*?). <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means being patient and kind when someone is rude, short and hateful to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means waiting with open arms for the people who’ve turned their backs on me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means shutting down my fleshly response when everything in me doesn’t want to. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means responding the way Jesus wants me to, even when it pains me to do it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means shutting my mouth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Less of me means less of ME. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s not some pious, holier-than-thou phrase we use to sound superior to other people. This is real. It’s high demand. More of him; less of me will not come at an easy time, it will not come without a demand, it will not come without an assault on my flesh. And it’s painful. We think that’s bad somehow or that following Jesus should never cause us pain. Our instinct is to run from anything that hurts us. But that’s silly, immature, and honestly, just bad theology. Take a look at Matthew 21:44 if you don’t believe me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But I digress. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s what I’m learning: less of me is the only way to live. This is where humility is. This is where freedom is. This is where obedience is. This is where LIFE is. This is where I want to be. Under His authority, submitted to Him in every area of my life. Letting go of all the ways I “know best.” I don’t know best, for the record. In all of my thoughts (and if you know me, you know how much I love to think), I can never know best, or have all the answers figured out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m thankful for this journey. I’m thankful that in every painful moment that I have to let go of me, He is there to stand with me. To calm my worried heart, and quiet every anxious thought. To heal every hurt and help me turn around and love those who hurt me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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ONLY Jesus can do that. And I’m so thankful he does. <o:p></o:p></div>
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*Matthew 18:22<o:p></o:p></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-29280440895822064582019-01-07T13:30:00.001-08:002019-01-07T13:37:51.759-08:00Refuge<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have to chose our refuge. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Psalm 16:1</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Keep me safe, my God, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><i>for in you I take refuge. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Sometimes the refuge we long for is the one that will satisfy our flesh. The place that gives room to the emotion and hurt in which we feel justified. The place that acknowledges and pacifies how we’ve been so wronged. The place that allows us to speak carelessly and without self-control to give air to our grievance. We have to be aware, because this refuge will present itself as safety, and comfort; good, even. It won't present itself as a poor choice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This place seems harmless and acceptable because we’re “just venting." But this place will bear fruit in our lives and the only fruit it can bear is bitter. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">The bitter place is attractive. It feels safe. It feels good. It satisfies our frustration. And it doesn’t seem bad. But bitter fruit is destructive. We just won’t always see it immediately. It could be weeks, months or years before we see the effects.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is not about denying our hurt. It’s not about pretending we’re not frustrated. Both of those things are inevitable. However, we have to choose our refuge. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The only place that will truly satisfy us, is in Him. He will take the mess we’re in, whether we created it or not, and bring peace. He will be our strength in our weakness, our comfort in our hurt, our source in our lack, our healing in our brokenness. Whatever we need, He is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have to choose Him. We have to choose to die to ourselves. It’s less satisfying in the moment. Because instead of getting to go complain and wallow in my frustration and bitterness, it denies all of that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But we’re living for eternity here, not tomorrow. We can manage the ‘light and momentary troubles’* set before us in light of eternity. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I’m not saying it’s easy. But bitter is not better, and it never will be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Let's quiet our flesh today. Let's close our mouths, and instead, seek Him. </span><br />
Let us choose Him as our refuge, and there we are safe. </div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">*2 Corinthians 4:17</span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7673517437054912090.post-62673596266004393972018-12-31T09:15:00.002-08:002018-12-31T09:15:40.972-08:00Year Eight<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">We get to celebrate 8 years of marriage today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">8 years. I remember when we first got married, and I couldn’t wait until we’d been married 2 years, or 5 years or 8 years. Time goes by faster than we ever realize. I can’t possibly remember all the moments we’ve enjoyed over the last 8 years. There are far too many to count. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And as much as I love memories, I’m more of a present and future focused person. I love being in the moment now, and not being distracted by what was. Because now is so sweet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s all the little moments. The constancy. The every day moments, the chats, all the little secrets we share.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It’s enjoying the deep. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">2018 has simultaneously been the most amazing year of our lives, and one of the absolute worst. I don’t really understand how that’s possible, and I never will.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have been blessed beyond our wildest imaginations by becoming parents.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Our Lennox is an absolute gift. He’s our Anchor to the Lord’s promises; our Miracle baby, or baby of Miracles if you will. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And it’s not an exaggeration. I know in this social media world we’re in, we think everyone is fake. Let me tell you, we don’t have to fake it. We adore each other. We adore our son, and are so thankful for him. He’s our treasure. Even when it’s late at night and he wakes up for seemingly no reason and fusses. We are blessed people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We have said goodbye and laid to rest some pretty significant things this year. Still can’t go into detail about all of it. But it has altered our course, and reset us back to the beginning in a lot of ways. We’re still navigating all the questions. The “what’s next”, and “where do we go from here” questions. The “who are we now” questions. Not quite sure about any of it, honestly. But I think we are through the pain of it and now just carefully looking for each and every next step as the Lord leads us. I can't help but think as good as it is, it's still getting better. There is still much greater ahead than behind us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">As we enter year 9 I am as thrilled as ever to walk out this faith together. Babe, cheers to another year under our belts. Cheers to more fun, more laughter, more sweetness, more unexpected. It doesn't matter where we go, as long as I'm with you. </span></div>
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Joy and pain, fire and rain,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We’ll be together</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You and I.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Ever after, ever always</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">we’ll be together</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">You and I</span></div>
Carlie-Rose Madridhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467521524289811147noreply@blogger.com0