I’ve been in this process over the last 5 years. And the last year I’ve taken time to listen and really hear what the Lord has been telling me. To be still, honestly. To wait.
And truthfully, I’ve written and rewritten this blog. I’ve been struggling with it because I know there’s something to be said, but I hadn’t been able to ascertain the point. I don’t want to miscommunicate what I feel like the Lord is teaching me. I’ve been mulling this topic over for months, and trying to put together some thoughts on it.
The other night on my run, the Lord showed me the real point.
Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
2 Corinthians 6:14
This is the point.
I have been struggling with so many different relationships over the last few years. Both in friends, and my own leaders in church. It seems to be the same pattern over and over again, which finally has led me to the conclusion that the Lord is showing me something that I need to deal with *in me.*
I think it’s important to note that most often, the Lord is going to address our own sin, not just come discipline people who have hurt us- and we should be so thankful that this is the case.*
We can waste time trying to hold other people accountable for being selfish and hurtful, OR we can trust the Lord will deal with them.
But I digress.
Back to 2 Corinthians.
I truly believe this scripture is not just about marriage, but includes any relationship or partnership. The key phrasing for me is “mismatched alliances.”
These can be people who love the Lord, but are not walking the way you walk.
Transparently, I have had many of these such alliances in my life. I have made the mistake of being so naive to assume because people “love God” and are in church, that they must be a “matched alliance”, as it were. And they were not.
The yoking is an important picture because these are people who are not interested in keeping pace with you, or carrying their share of the burden. So when the yoke breaks, they’ll be out of sight before they even notice you’re not with them anymore. And when they do, they won’t look back to see what happened, or if you were injured, because they simply don’t care.
Even worse, in my experience, the story they’ll tell is that *you* were the problem and they’re glad to be rid of you.
Ultimately, this is not a tale of how awful those other people are. We can recognize unhealthiness and move on. We aren’t going to give bitterness a foothold**.
This is a tale of learning to choose equal yoking. Even just in friendship. If this is not a true course of walking together and equally carrying one another’s burden, it’s not a yoke we can take on.
But make no mistake, we are responsible for the yokes we choose. So, let us mature. Let us choose wisely the partnerships we take on, the yokes we choose to share.
Finding people who are walking the same direction, and are willing to carry the load is actually quite rare.
In my experience, there will be more misses than marks. And that’s ok.
It’s ok to “miss out” on opportunities. It’s ok to miss out on something other people are doing because a relationship or friendship is ok for them, but might not be ok for you.
Don’t worry over missing out, you’re not really. All you’re risking is missing out on an unequal yoke. And that will be no loss.
Don’t be afraid to let go of these unequal yokes.
*”and you have forgotten the divine word of encouragement which is addressed to you as sons, “My son, do not make light of the discipline of the Lord, And do not lose heart and give up when you are corrected by Him; For the Lord disciplines and corrects those whom He loves, And He punishes every son whom He receives and welcomes [to His heart].””
Hebrews 12:5-6
**Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down. And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness].”
Ephesians 4:26-27
And a bonus reminder to choose wisely:
He who walks [as a companion] with wise men will be wise, But the companions of [conceited, dull-witted] fools [are fools themselves and] will experience harm.
Proverbs 13:20
