We look for these moments.
The moments when we get a little glimpse of the future. Of what God is doing. Of the next step.
A moment where things make sense.
We all wait for glimpses.
Glimpses of the past, reminding us of the things we've lost, the people and the precious moments. The times we look back on and smile, and wish we could relive...just one more time.
Glimpses of each other. Little truths that we share about ourselves that make us feel close. Like we're not alone. We try to be strong, and just keep on moving.The truth is, we need each other. We need the little glimpses of the truth. Little glimpses to strengthen us and encourage us. To give us hope when we're about to give up.
Little glimpses to let someone else in, the utter thrill of that one love.
We all wait for a glimpse. A little glimpse of a greater reality. Little glimpses of the greatest victory.
We all wait.
I cherish these little moments that I look back on. And wait for a little glimpse of what's next.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Things I Left in Washington
I have a list in my phone, titled Things I Left in Washington. Just clothes, and things I left behind to make it easy when I go up to visit.
I looked at it the other day and it got me thinking. I left things in Washington. So much more than just clothes, or shoes or little things. I left a huge part of my life. Most of my life for that matter.
I've always known that I was called to ministry, and to build the kingdom of God. I don't feel particularly called to overseas missions at this point in life, however, it's definitely not out of the question. I always believe anything is possible, and I will go wherever the Lord calls me.
Some days I struggle so much with having left my family behind in Washington. It's so hard to miss everything that happens there. I hate missing my nephew and my niece growing up. I've missed too much already. A huge part of me just wants to go back. But I know that I can't.
When I was a kid, I would read stories of missionaries and their hardships pioneering the way for the gospel, and I would long to do that. In my head I would go through all the things that I was willing to give up, and for the most part, I thought that I knew how to count the cost.
I realize that it may not seem like tough missionary work, out here in sunny Tucson. But the things the Lord has brought into my life; work and ministry opportunities, are only the first step. I truly believe that the Lord is teaching me how to live at a certain level. Balancing busyness, and life. Balancing ministry, doing it well, with excellence and being reminded to not grow weary in doing good. I think I've realized that this is just the beginning. This is critical. This is the proving ground for whatever is to come.
I guess what it comes down to, is that if I can be faithful in this; if I can endure this step well, then I will be ready for the whatever the next step is. I have no doubt that the next step will call for greater obedience, greater faith, greater trust and greater sacrifice. But I long for it. I long for the opportunity to be faithful, and to be used for the kingdom of God.
I could go into detail about the moment I knew the Lord called me here. I could go into detail about the scripture the Lord spoke to me at that exact moment. But there's no need for convincing myself, or anyone else. Truthfully, for whatever reason, that moment is so personal to me, I don't even want to write it out. It's a moment I will never forget.
Really, what I'm trying to say, is that I left a lot in Washington. Far more than little material things. I left my life, my family, everything that is comfortable and familiar to me. Really, the only reason I am here, is because the Lord told me to be here. It's always easier to go back, than to go forward. So I welcome the challenge of going forward. Letting go of myself, and what is comfortable to me, and being obedient and fully surrendered to the Lord's call in my life. Ultimately, that is what is in my heart. That is what keeps me lying awake at night. But I cannot forget the things I've left behind.
I looked at it the other day and it got me thinking. I left things in Washington. So much more than just clothes, or shoes or little things. I left a huge part of my life. Most of my life for that matter.
I've always known that I was called to ministry, and to build the kingdom of God. I don't feel particularly called to overseas missions at this point in life, however, it's definitely not out of the question. I always believe anything is possible, and I will go wherever the Lord calls me.
Some days I struggle so much with having left my family behind in Washington. It's so hard to miss everything that happens there. I hate missing my nephew and my niece growing up. I've missed too much already. A huge part of me just wants to go back. But I know that I can't.
When I was a kid, I would read stories of missionaries and their hardships pioneering the way for the gospel, and I would long to do that. In my head I would go through all the things that I was willing to give up, and for the most part, I thought that I knew how to count the cost.
I realize that it may not seem like tough missionary work, out here in sunny Tucson. But the things the Lord has brought into my life; work and ministry opportunities, are only the first step. I truly believe that the Lord is teaching me how to live at a certain level. Balancing busyness, and life. Balancing ministry, doing it well, with excellence and being reminded to not grow weary in doing good. I think I've realized that this is just the beginning. This is critical. This is the proving ground for whatever is to come.
I guess what it comes down to, is that if I can be faithful in this; if I can endure this step well, then I will be ready for the whatever the next step is. I have no doubt that the next step will call for greater obedience, greater faith, greater trust and greater sacrifice. But I long for it. I long for the opportunity to be faithful, and to be used for the kingdom of God.
I could go into detail about the moment I knew the Lord called me here. I could go into detail about the scripture the Lord spoke to me at that exact moment. But there's no need for convincing myself, or anyone else. Truthfully, for whatever reason, that moment is so personal to me, I don't even want to write it out. It's a moment I will never forget.
Really, what I'm trying to say, is that I left a lot in Washington. Far more than little material things. I left my life, my family, everything that is comfortable and familiar to me. Really, the only reason I am here, is because the Lord told me to be here. It's always easier to go back, than to go forward. So I welcome the challenge of going forward. Letting go of myself, and what is comfortable to me, and being obedient and fully surrendered to the Lord's call in my life. Ultimately, that is what is in my heart. That is what keeps me lying awake at night. But I cannot forget the things I've left behind.
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