I was looking at my wedding ring. Considering all that it means, all the implications. Wondering why people bother putting it on, if not to take it serious.To be fair, it’s mostly my own generation, us millennials, I’m referring to. We tend to struggle with those pesky things like realistic world views and entitlement mentalities. It’s a terrible pattern we’ve gotten into.
We fall in love with fairytales because they teach us that anything is possible. They teach us to find the magic in the every day, the ‘extra’ in the ordinary.
We fall in love with fairytales because they teach us that life is bigger than we think. They teach us to imagine. To believe. And those are great things.
Personally, I’m not much for fairytales. I like the implication of a fairytale but often find the stories vapid and shallow.
We grow up with fairytales, but sadly, never seem to outgrow the foolishness of them.
We want the success without the work.
We want the boyfriend without the commitment.
We want the wedding ring without the marriage.
The easy without the hard.
The happy ending without the painful journey.
The dream come true without the broken ones.
The choices without the consequences.
We fixate so much on the magic of it all that we forget everything else. We hang all our hopes and all our happiness on that one magical thing. Which often, is elusive, at best. But we think to ourselves, “if I can just get “that”, it'll fix all the rest.”
If we hit overnight success, it’ll fix our laziness and non-existent work ethics.
If we pull the right hustle, it’ll fix our lack of integrity, our dishonesty, and severely broken morals.
If we get that new marriage, or new relationship, it’ll fix all the problems with the old one. Somehow we magically won’t be selfish, rude, dismissive, manipulative, unfaithful, etc.
Anybody’s bell ringin’ yet?
Let me side step for a brief moment and say, this is in NO WAY a judgement about divorce, or broken marriages. I certainly don’t judge you if that’s your story. I want to address the mentality that is permeating my generation that if you don’t like it, quit. Too hard? Give up. These are not acceptable qualities. Marriage is awesome when you do it right, with the right person. So let’s learn to do it right, and not give up when the going gets tough, if I may borrow the colloquialism. And to be blunt, there will always be reasons to quit. But the reasons to keep going are so much greater!
We can move on, or move away, and act like that is somehow the answer to all our problems. But we’ve neglected to realize that at the center of all of these problems most often is no one other than OURSELVES.
We think our problems just circle mysteriously around us and we are utterly powerless to them. Instead of waking up and understanding that we ourselves are the most common denominator.
Fairytales don’t showcase hard work. And honestly, everything worth having will always demand hard work. Hard work isn’t magic. It’s what happens when you jump in with both feet, knee-deep, and get your hands dirty. Success doesn’t happen on someone else’s coattails. Well, it does. But it’s their success- not yours.
Truth time: you get out what you put in. Don’t believe me? Ok. Let’s put it this way: you reap what you sow.*
It’s a principle that applies to every facet of life. Good, bad, or ugly, if you sowed it, you’ll reap it.
Fairytales rob us of the real victory. The real victory isn't locking down Prince Charming with a diamond ring and a castle. The real victory is yanking yourself up by the bootstraps, marching out of the castle (or dungeon, depending on which part of the story you’re in) and vanquishing evil- in whatever form in comes. Prince Charming is a bonus.
Don’t miss out on the real story- fighting for your life, ups and downs, joys and sorrows, refusing to give up and kicking your enemy straight in the teeth. That’s where the gold is. Hidden in the midst of the heartache, the brokenness, every bit of ugliness. There’s diamonds in the rough, waiting for their moment to shine. But it’s up to us to roll up our sleeves and dig them out.
And on a side note: refusing to give up is a beautiful thing. It’s one of the best things about us humans. Tenacity was a heavenly gift, of that I am sure.
Bottom line: Fairytales are great. Reality is better.
*Galatians 6:7 Don't be mislead- you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.
