I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my innermost self] rejoices; My body too will dwell [confidently] in safety, For You will not abandon me to Sheol (the nether world, the place of the dead), Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.
Psalms 16:8-10 AMP
I have spent a lot of time thinking about disappointment. Not because I’m currently navigating it, but because it seems to be one of those things that visits infrequently enough that we’re not really ready for it when it does.
I think sometimes we (ok, just me?) fear disappointment more than anything else.
I think disappointment is the one thing that keeps us from truly walking with God, fully and wholly. It’s the line of distance between us. We keep full trust at bay so we aren’t disappointed when things don’t happen the way we thought they would. Subconsciously, we can believe that not fully trusting somehow protects us from the inevitability of disappointment.
Disappointment is crushing. Scripture even talks about this.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12
Maybe because we cling to the idea that we have some sort of control, that seeing an outcome we didn’t want and can’t change feels unfair. It shifts our vision, and often, our image of how things ‘should’ look. It changes our hopes and plans for the future, and frankly, it’s painful.
Personally, I feel like the Lord showed me why disappointment is so painful. And why it’s one more area that I am not walking fully and wholly with God. Big oof.
The reason disappointment is so potent is because I am still fighting for my will.
The divide between praise and despair in every circumstance is made by my own resistance.
Instead of surrender to ALL His ways, I want to cling to my outcome. I want to cling to what *I* think God should do. And when He doesn’t, it’s shattering.
This is why praise in trial and pain isn’t the first reaction.
So, the Lord told me, “You want to know the way through disappointment?
Surrender.”
I feel like we have to pause to let that sink in for a moment. Read it again, real quick and let that sit in your heart.
This is how we consider it joy to face trials of many kinds, as James says.
This is how we remain content in every circumstance, as Paul says.
The Lord is the portion of my inheritance, my cup [He is all I need]; You support my lot.
Psalms 16:5
The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me], I shall not want.
Psalms 23:1 AMP
When we surrender, when we fully give up control, disappointment no longer has a seat at the table. We don’t fear disappointment, because the outcome is not our peace; He is.
The great paradox is giving up control and letting go of my will, and there we find freedom. I don’t mean some elusive idea of freedom that has no tangible meaning. I mean FREEDOM. No longer a slave to fear. No longer captive to my own thoughts or emotions. No longer held by my own outcomes or ideas.
And I’ve experienced it. Instead of feeling a whole range of emotions in the aftermath of disappointment, there is peace. Joy. And yes, a heart that is ready to praise my Savior for His goodness. Thankfulness that He is faithful and present, my close companion no matter what I walk through.
And to know fully that He is worthy of ALL my trust and praise.
Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
Proverbs 3:5-6
