He must become greater; I must become less.
John 3:30
We’ve heard it before. We’ve said it. Made little jokes here and there. We’ve said it sincerely.
“More of him; less of me.”
I know I’ve said it. But I have to be honest, in my life recently, I’m seeing the reality of that phrase a lot more than I’d like.
Most often we say that phrase in reference to His presence. We want more of his presence. And in our heads, we think it ends there.
But here’s what I’m seeing:
Less of me means literally LESS of ME. It’s not that I somehow just evaporate in the presence of the Lord and I’m some weird ethereal being that floats around in a holy, unbothered state.
Less of me means when someone is hurtful to me, I don’t run around proving how I’m right and they’re wrong.
Less of me means loving people who hurt me. Over and over and over again (you think it’s for nothing that Jesus essentially told Peter to forgive endlessly*?).
Less of me means being patient and kind when someone is rude, short and hateful to me.
Less of me means waiting with open arms for the people who’ve turned their backs on me.
Less of me means shutting down my fleshly response when everything in me doesn’t want to.
Less of me means responding the way Jesus wants me to, even when it pains me to do it.
Less of me means shutting my mouth.
Less of me means less of ME.
It’s not some pious, holier-than-thou phrase we use to sound superior to other people. This is real. It’s high demand. More of him; less of me will not come at an easy time, it will not come without a demand, it will not come without an assault on my flesh. And it’s painful. We think that’s bad somehow or that following Jesus should never cause us pain. Our instinct is to run from anything that hurts us. But that’s silly, immature, and honestly, just bad theology. Take a look at Matthew 21:44 if you don’t believe me.
But I digress.
Here’s what I’m learning: less of me is the only way to live. This is where humility is. This is where freedom is. This is where obedience is. This is where LIFE is. This is where I want to be. Under His authority, submitted to Him in every area of my life. Letting go of all the ways I “know best.” I don’t know best, for the record. In all of my thoughts (and if you know me, you know how much I love to think), I can never know best, or have all the answers figured out.
I’m thankful for this journey. I’m thankful that in every painful moment that I have to let go of me, He is there to stand with me. To calm my worried heart, and quiet every anxious thought. To heal every hurt and help me turn around and love those who hurt me.
ONLY Jesus can do that. And I’m so thankful he does.
*Matthew 18:22
