Disillusion

I was singing these words to my son today while getting him dressed, “all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so, so good.” 

And the words caught me for a moment, as I looked into Lennox’ big brown eyes as he watched me sing. Some day I’ll have to explain why I sing the phrase “all my life You have been faithful.” I’ll have to show him and tell him why those are not just words I mindlessly sing. 

Those words have deep meaning. They’ve come from years of faithfulness. Years of serving. Painful seasons. Hard seasons. Humbling seasons. 

I think when we’re young it’s so easy to get disillusioned. We have expectations of exactly how things should happen, how things should look, and when it’s different the disappointment hits hard. We start to wonder, “where are you, God?” “Why did you let this happen?” “Why didn’t you stop this?” 

Believe me, I get it. These were questions I was asking not that long ago. 

I think we misinterpret the faithfulness of God. I think sometimes we think because God is good, he won’t let bad things happen to us. Because he’s faithful, he’ll keep us from suffering. Because we do all the “right things” nothing should be going wrong. 

But that’s not what faithfulness is. Faithfulness means that when I stand in the fire, he stands with me. Faithfulness means when I’m walking in the valley of the shadow of death, he’s walking with me. Faithfulness means that whatever comes, he is with me. 

Sometimes we wait to see the big miracle, but it doesn’t come. We lived that last year in the Madrid home. We waited and believed for a big miracle. We didn’t see it. We woke up on June 15, 2018 and saw nothing. There was no big miracle. We were at a complete loss. We didn’t know where to go, where to start, what to do, nothing. We had no answers.

We were being catapulted into a new realm of faith and trust. One we never would have asked for, or hoped for. 

Since then, we’ve seen miracles. New opportunities, new jobs, etc. But we don’t celebrate the job as if that’s the only expression of God’s faithfulness. We celebrate his faithfulness because he was faithful to us when there was no job. I believe it is the kindness of God, the nature of God, to provide for us. But faithfulness is not just what he does, it’s who He is. 

We saw his faithfulness that whole summer when we had no answers. We saw his goodness in the nothing. 

Disillusionment bothers me. Because we’re all susceptible to it. We all go through hard things. We all face heartbreak and heartache. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re the only person who has had to face something hard and that makes your disillusionment ok. This is something everyone can understand. 

What changes things is when we understand who God really is, in spite of everything we see with our eyes happening around us. 

You have to know that He is for you. In every situation, He is for you. He is working out the very best for you in every moment. When you’re lost, and hurting, He is right there with you. He doesn’t disappear when things go crazy. He’s the Rock. He doesn’t move, change, or leave.   

This is why we have to learn the secret of being content, no matter what comes. The Apostle Paul said it so well, “For I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.” 

Life is hard sometimes. But don’t give up. If you hear nothing else, hear that. Don’t give up. It won’t be dark forever, there is HOPE. 

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,^c who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

Philippians 4:11-14