Love

I keep seeing sentiments like this expressed everywhere I look. Twitter, Facebook, every social media platform I use. It’s important to mention that because the people expressing agreement with these sentiments are not nameless, faceless strangers or journalists. They’re people we know. Friends, family, people we went to school with, people we work with maybe. And to be clear: I'm not sharing the above picture to make anybody feel bad, it's just an example of things that are currently flooding my timeline. 

Aside from sentiments like the above, I can't believe the amount of articles I've seen with deliberately misleading headlines, filled with speculation and opinions and people believe them like it's absolute fact. It's truly astonishing. 

All these view points and beliefs. Emotions stated as absolute truths, feelings over facts. I understand, it’s the world we live in now. 

Oxford Dictionaries 2016 word of the year was “post-truth.” 

POST-TRUTH:

 Relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective  facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals  to emotion and personal belief.

Horrifying, in my opinion. I am a person that deeply values facts and absolute truths, far above feelings. It is, at times I’m sure, my greatest fault. It has been jokingly said about me that “my only loyalty is to the truth.” We probably shouldn’t examine too closely the accuracy of that “joke.” However, I hold steady to the belief that a person who values the absolute (not subjective, but objective) truth above all else is of tremendous value. I certainly value the people in my life who tell me the truth, and don’t spare my feelings. Unpleasant, certainly. But necessary? Absolutely. 

But I digress. 

Something that has been paraded around recently is this “lovetrumpshate” idea. It’s hashtags, it’s on signs held at protests, it comes out of our friend’s mouths. We’ve all heard it. We hear the word “love” constantly. All we need is “love.” To be clear: I’m all for love. Yes, please, LET’S. Let’s LOVE each other. I’m in. 

But I’m realizing something. In today’s society the word “love” is nothing more than a cheap platitude, used for moral superiority and to manipulate people into agreement. 

They say “Love” while they’re violent and destructive. They say “Love” while they abort babies. They say “Love” while they scream obscenities. They say “Love” until you have a different view point, then there is, nor will the ever be, any “Love.” 

We have a profound misunderstanding of the word “Love.” 

Let me say this: any time manipulation is in play under the disguise of love- it’s not love. LOVE does not manipulate to get it’s way, or to mislead people into agreement. Love doesn’t have ulterior motives. Especially not ones aimed for personal gain at your expense. 

Let’s talk about what LOVE is. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

The scripture goes on to say in verse 8 (paraphrasing) that while everything else fades away, love does not. Love never fails. 

Interesting, isn’t it? Doesn’t leave a lot of room for excuses. 

Or let’s look at this (and this is Jesus talking): 

John 13:34

A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. 

Or one of my personal favorites (again, Jesus talking): 

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 

As if those scriptures weren’t enough to illuminate our eyes to the truth of LOVE, let’s remember in 1 John 4 it says that one who says “I love God” but hates his brother is a liar. So we understand that if we say we love God, but hate each other, we don’t love God either. 

And let’s not forget the most (and often, in-correctly) quoted scripture: 

John 3:16

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. 

You’ll have to forgive me, if you don’t believe the Bible. I do. And as far as absolute truths go, it’s unmatched. 

So yes. Love trumps hate. All we need is love. Let’s love each other. But for LOVE to be effective, it must be real LOVE, based in real truth. 

I’ll leave you with these final thoughts: 

Romans 12:2

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

And in the words of the late, great MJ

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.” 

Not Everything Needs To Be Said

It’s been an interesting week. 

We watched the inauguration for our new president. He has taken office. There have been protests. Celebrations. Marches. And the wheel of the world continually turns over. 

At this moment, I’m not going to dive into the politics of it all. Which is a choice, because believe me- I want to. 

As I have been observing the events of the past week, I have noticed something. 

We all have people in our circle of friends, our family, acquaintances, or Facebook friends that believe differently from us. Some are hurting. Some are celebrating. Some are ecstatic. Some are devastated. 

We’ve become accustomed to saying whatever we want. Whenever we want. Without accountability or consequences. Social media has created a monster far beyond the foolishness or immaturity of children. We adults have become just as careless. I won’t dwell on the terrible example we’re setting for the next generation, but I’ll let you think on that for a minute. 

But here’s what I keep thinking: We’re in challenging times. And it’s likely, challenging times are still in front of us. 

Foolishness would be for us to continue on this reckless path, saying (or posting) whatever pops into our heads without any thought for our fellow man. Or let's be real, any thought for the family and friends we leave to drown in the wake of our careless words. 

Wisdom would consider deeply, and discern carefully before we speak. 

Not everything needs to be said. 

We had better learn to elevate our sense of kindness. Because without, the divide between us only becomes greater. 

And I don't think we can afford that, do you? 

Six Years

What do you say about a person that has made your whole life better? What do you say about a person who is somehow all the things you needed, but didn’t know it? What do you say about a person who is quite literally the best looking human you’ve ever seen? 

I don’t know. There are so many things I could say. 

I could tell you about the time I used to imagine who my husband would be and I thought to myself, “Well, he has to be a musician. But it would be pretty cool if he were a police officer too.” 

I could tell you about how I would wonder what his name would be and I thought to myself, “Something that starts with ‘J’ would be nice. But I think Sam is a good name too.” 

I could tell you about how when I met Sam, before we started dating, I knew I was going to marry him. And years later when I told him about the moment I knew, he proceeded to finish the story about where we were standing and what we were doing. I looked at him in disbelief and asked how he knew and he answered, “Because that’s when I knew too.” 

I could tell you about how without fail, when I wake up in the morning, that guy tells me I’m beautiful. Don’t worry, I know that I’m not that pretty when I wake up. But he tells me I am, and the best part is, he means it. 

I could tell you about how when I tell him something I want to do, his answer is always, “Let’s do it.” No matter how big or crazy, far-fetched or impossible, he’s always ready to jump into it with me. 

I could tell you about how he LOVES to make me laugh. That guy will bend over backwards just to get me to laugh. 

It’s all of that and a thousand other little things too. 

I am immensely grateful that this is the person I get to share my life with. Every adventure, every hardship. Mountains and valleys, victories and losses, every one of them is better with him. 

Someone asked me the other day if Sam was my gift for Christmas and without even thinking about it I answered, “Nah, he’s my gift every day.” 

Funny how out of the heart the mouth speaks, isn’t it? 

Happy Anniversary to us, my Love. Here’s to a thousand more. 

If Donald Trump Is President

Watching the world post-election is amusing. Scratch that. It's sad. 

I could go into great detail about how ridiculous it is to protest the election of a president. Just so we’re all clear, you understand the government didn’t elect Donald Trump- the people did. There’s no one to protest. Your friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. voted differently from you and we now have a president. And just like you, they have the right to vote for whomever they please. 

Like it or hate it, this is the system we use. 

Maybe the media could do us a favor by stopping the coverage of protestors and people who want to belittle the vote of the people. It makes it seem like the majority of the country doesn’t want Donald Trump as our president, and unfortunately, according to the VOTES- that’s simply not true. 

I think most of all, I’m so grateful that I grew up with parents that when something didn’t go my way told me to “get over it.” I realize the people growing up a few years behind me are being taught that they don’t have to “get over it” but rather, to have a melt down. College campuses are having cry-ins* for goodness sake. Lord help us all when these people join the real world and realize that bosses don’t care about “safe spaces” or “cry-ins” when something doesn't go your way. 

I had friends tell me that their bosses and co-workers didn’t show up for work the day (or days) following the election because they simply couldn’t cope. 

Again. I am so thankful my parents taught me to “get over it.” 

Secondly, I’m thankful for parents who “got over it” every time a president was elected that they opposed. Not once did my parents, family members, or friend’s parents get out in the street and protest a president elect. Thank God they didn’t. 

In honesty, I think they had common sense and understood that when a president is elected there is NO ONE to protest, except your fellow man. And what point is there in that? 

I don’t want to seem harsh, or unfeeling. But sometimes real love, is hard truth. And the hard truth is, we’ve elected a president. And the time has come to buck up and support the president the people elected. You don’t have to like him, but he holds the highest office in this country, and honor is due. 

I know honor is a concept that is lost on people now. We tend to think it's archaic to honor someone we don't agree with. Make no mistake, how people treat authorities like police is directly connected to the response to our president elect. It’s a scary world without honor. We think we only have to honor those we have determined are worthy of it. That’s not how honor works. I think honor is directly connected to pride. You can't honor because you’re proud. You won't honor someone because you've decided they don't deserve it. You think you know best. But Proverbs 16:18 tells us that “prides goes before destruction.” That means that pride will destroy you. And in this case, pride will destroy our country. 

Funny, pride is already destroying our country physically. People are rioting, destroying towns and burning flags, all in the name of "protest." Don’t think pride isn’t a factor here. Pride lurks in the background and lets fear take all the credit. But the result is the same. You’ll be deceived and destroyed. Because that’s what fear and pride do. 

To be really honest with you, I survived 8 years of a president I didn’t vote for. No cry-ins. No falling apart. No angry protesting. No safe spaces. I survived. You will too. 

I know this is a difficult time for some. So here is a list of things you can be sure of, if Donald Trump is president. 

I'll be your friend, no matter who you voted for.
I'll hold your hand if you're afraid of the future.
I'll listen if you need to talk it through.
I'll be patient with you.
I'll be honest with you.
I'll pray with you.
I'll be kind to you.
I'll love you.

I am sorry if you are currently devastated by the results of this election. But I would like to submit to you, that fear is a tricky thing. It’s irrational and often convinces you to believe things that aren’t true. There is an unbelievable amount of fear in regard to Donald Trump. People are terrified of things he hasn’t said, and things he hasn’t done. Take a deep breath. 

There IS hope. There is ALWAYS hope. And we’re in this together. And we need each other, now maybe more than ever. 

So come on, get up. Let’s wipe the tears. I’ll hold your hand and we can walk this thing out together. We’re gonna be ok. 

• http://cornellsun.com/2016/11/09/devastated-cornellians-mourn-election-of-donald-trump-at-cry-in/

Election Day

Today’s the day. The culmination of everything we've endured the last year and a half. 

I tend to be reflective on days like these. I think. I reminisce. I pray. I hope. I remember being young and always being interested in the political process. I always looked forward to being old enough to vote. I look forward to participating in the process every year. 

These moments stir something in me. It’s significant. What we do today matters. 

I can’t say why voting matters so deeply to me. Maybe because it evokes the pride I have in being an American. People have started saying recently that this country was never great. How sad. This country has been great. It IS great. It will be great in the future. This country was a beacon of hope in the world. People came here for freedom. People came here because anything was possible. There was hope in America. Yes, I understand the issues. I know we’re not perfect. I know we’ve made terrible choices. But don’t tell me this country isn’t great. 

Don’t waste your vote today. Don’t fall prey to the idea that no vote is better than voting for someone you don’t agree with. Pray. Then go out there and vote biblically. It’s the very best we can do. 

Vote because you’re a citizen of this nation. Vote because it’s your responsibility to participate in this process. Vote because people have died defending your right to. Vote because your voice matters. Vote because you have the freedom to do so. Vote because you can make a difference. Vote because it’s a honor to make your voice heard. Just VOTE. 

And lastly. Don’t be ugly today. Tomorrow we’ll all wake up and there will be a new president for our nation. And we all still have to live with one another. 

So no matter who you vote for, remember we’re still in this together. 

A New Feminism

I read an article recently about five celebrity men who are "self-proclaimed feminists" and very proud of it, apparently.

The idea of that is nice. A sound sentiment, to be sure.

But in this day and age, I think the idea of feminism is both redundant and ineffective.

Now, let's be clear. I am a woman. A strong, brutally honest, independent and opinionated woman at that. I've been called intimidating and bossy. Aggressive. Harsh. Cold. Unfeeling. A robot. The list goes on. Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended. Well. Unfeeling is a little hurtful. That one actually isn't true. 
But I want to laugh when women are offended about being called bossy. Fine, I'm bossy. When you're the best you can be bossy. Until then, I'll be bossy. ;)

But I digress. The point is, I AM a woman.

I think modern feminism has ruined us in a way. Feminism has created a world where woman think they're better than men. And it’s very subtle, because no one would ever say it outright. But think about it- it's everywhere. TV shows, movies and commercials. More often than not men are portrayed as silly, ignorant, immature, bumbling fools. They're shown as the clueless father, and only the mother can relate to her children. In every argument between husbands and wives, the man is wrong, the woman is right.

It's embarrassing actually. I'm embarrassed by the portrayal of men in the entertainment world. I’m embarrassed to think that we perpetuate an idea that women are better than men and then call it feminism. And if you know me at all, you know how I feel about extremism. Feminism has created an extreme. Woman rules all, and men are our subjects to control and demean as we see fit. I think it’s somehow to make up for the years when women were lesser than. It apparently doesn’t matter that those days are over, we have to make the oppressive men pay! 

Feminism began because a time once existed in which women were truly not equal to men. We couldn’t own property, or vote. We weren’t taken seriously without a husband, or a man to vouch for us.

It does make me angry to think that there was a time when the world viewed woman as less important or valuable than men. It makes me angry to think that places exist in the world where this is still true. It’s disgusting to me.

As a woman, I have to be honest. I don’t NEED feminism. And here’s why: Simply by the fact that I am a living, breathing person, I AM EQUAL. A man has no more inherent value than I do. I don’t need feminism to tell me that I’m valuable, or that I’m equal to a man. I am equal because I’m a person- the same way that any man is a person. I could also point out that even the Apostle Paul informed us that in Jesus, male or female doesn’t matter, because we’re all one in Christ (Galatians 3:26-29). No one is excluded. 

So forgive me, I’m not impressed by your self-proclaimed feminism. Every single person on the face of this earth should be a “feminist.” 

And yes, I’m aware of the gender wage-gap argument. I could point out that studies* have been done to show that when woman are paid less in the professional world it’s usually because they’ve chosen a field or specialty that isn’t as highly paying as other fields. Not because a woman automatically gets paid less. I could also point out that if companies could get away with paying women less based on gender alone, no company would ever hire men. Why pay more when you can pay less on something as arbitrary as gender? It’s just simple dollars and cents.

I'm also aware of the company line that says "feminism is about equality!" That's great. However. The vast majority of "feminism" that is portrayed in the world doesn't support that line. Most of the time, feminism comes across as degrading and ugly. It screams equality while it's actions tear down anyone who stands in it's way. It doesn't make sense. 

I’ve even recently heard the argument that people want to vote for a particular presidential candidate because she’s a woman and it’s “historical.” I would like to point out that voting for a woman simply because she’s a woman is actually the very antithesis of feminism, but that’s probably none of my business. 

I absolutely reject the idea that anything should be handed to me because I’m woman. And you know what, I’ll gladly work harder than the dude next to me, because I want to prove that I deserve a job because I’m the BEST, not because I’m a woman. If I get turned down, that’s ok. I’ll work harder, be better and in the end, they’ll wish they’d hired me. But that’s my own tenacity talking now. In all honesty, most of the time, I think a lot of women are very sore losers. Women don’t want to admit that a man might be better at something than they are, or have better experience or expertise.  

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are people out there who possess a prejudice against women. Most of the time, it’s probably unintentional, or sub-conscious. Based on how they were raised perhaps. I have no doubt that it exists. I don’t think it rules the world. 

Don't misunderstand me. I'm FOR women. I like strong women. I identify with strong women. I enjoy working with strong women. I love seeing women succeed. But not at the expense of men. Sorry. That's not a feminism I want to be a part of. 

I think we need a new kind of feminism. A feminism that doesn’t need to degrade men. A feminism that doesn’t need to rule all. A feminism that knows and generously acknowledges that we are ALL equal and important, simply because we are living, breathing human beings. A feminism whose actions match their words. A feminism that is willing to earn the right to be recognized because we’re the best, not because we’re women. A feminism that is strong and proud, because women are awesome. A feminism that respects and honors men, because they’re awesome too. 

Bottom line: I don't want to live in a world where Man is king and I don't want to live in a world where Woman is king. I want to live in a world (and this is probably some very wide-eyed idealism on my part) where the right people are in the right places for the right reasons. And things like gender or race aren't factors, because it simply doesn't matter.
But that's just me. 

*Prager University: https://youtu.be/1oqyrflOQFc

Life & Choice

I read this book recently. Timely, in light of our current political state. 

I would encourage you to read it for yourself. It’s graphic. It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. A real first-person account of working in the world of Planned Parenthood. In all honesty, it’s startling and eye-opening. But worth the read. 

I’ve been thinking about abortion quite a lot recently. Maybe it’s the current climate. Maybe it’s just getting older, and considering how precious life is. Maybe because I don’t recall the pro-life/pro-choice debate ever being so hotly contested in my lifetime. 

Please, don’t misunderstand. This isn’t about democratic v. republican ideology. This is about life and death. This isn’t about condemnation. Honestly, I think the issue of abortion is far more spiritual than it is political. 

But we’ve really convinced ourselves of the value, the need, the importance of abortion. 

Don’t you think it’s funny that the primary verbiage we use is “Women’s Choice” and not abortion? Interesting, isn’t it. Is it possible we don't want to own up to what that really means? Just a thought. 

We’ve conditioned ourselves to really believe that the first priority is Women’s Choice. Not life. 

Let’s be honest. It’s utterly ridiculous to say that a baby (“fetus”) isn’t a baby from conception on. Consider the logic of that for a moment. How can something that is "not a baby", magically become a baby at some point? I don't believe a form of logic exists wherein that makes sense. 

I’m bothered by the tone and attitude with which we discuss this issue. Maybe I could take it better if we could be honest about what this is. Abortion IS murder. It’s not pretty, but there it is. It’s not a righteous cause. Let’s be honest and discuss why we’re ok with murdering innocent babies in the name of women’s lib. 

The most recent estimates* I can find show that nearly 60 MILLION babies have been aborted since the approval of Roe v. Wade in 1973. That number staggers me. It guts me. I can’t fathom it. 60 MILLION. 

Consider for a moment how many people are missing from the world that should be here. Husbands and wives, sons and daughters. Friends, cousins, co-workers. These are PEOPLE we’re talking about. 

Because- make no mistake, they are people. We can make ourselves feel good by saying it’s about women’s rights. We can expunge ourselves of any responsibility by saying “it’s a fetus, not a baby.” But those are just words, and frankly, they’re untrue. 

It IS a baby. And it’s devastating.  

We could talk about the 7 characteristics that are generally used to determine life in any organism. I could tell you that growth is one of the chief characteristics. Just so we’re clear- a heartbeat is not one of the 7 characteristics. But again, so we’re clear, even a “fetus” is growing. From conception on, growth is happening. 

For example. A tree is living organism. It grows, yet it doesn’t have a heartbeat. But we KNOW that a tree is living thing. Interesting, don’t you think? 

We could talk about how life is so much more than 9 months in a womb, or the decades following. We could talk about how life is eternal. How, as Psalm 139 says, God knit us together in our mother's womb and wrote every day of our lives before we ever took a breath. Life is precious, and eternal.

But I digress. 

Please take a moment, and really consider how serious the issue of abortion is. For me, this is paramount. This is the issue I can’t see past. And believe me, there are lots of other issues. But this is the one that keeps me up at night. And spiritually speaking, I think this is the issue that will speak for us in eternity. 

Forgive me if you feel that I’m attacking your right to choose. That’s not my intention. And the truth is, you matter. I respect you and your voice, even if your belief differs from mine. You and I both got to live to express our opinions and beliefs. 60 million others didn’t. 

Simply put, life is precious. It’s irreplaceable. There are no duplicates in people. Every single life is significant and immeasurably valuable. And I value life more than choice.

Sources:

*http://www.nrlc.org/uploads/factsheets/FS01AbortionintheUS.pdf

http://www.abbyjohnson.org (UnPlanned by Abby Johnson)

More resources:

http://www.numberofabortions.com

https://www.hillaryclinton.com/briefing/factsheets/2016/01/22/lifelong-record-roe-anniversary/