Grace

I feel as though I’m at a precipice. Standing. Waiting. Watching. Things are looming before me that I don’t want to do. Not big or bad things, but life things. 

Aging family, kids growing up faster and faster, and sigh...growing older myself. I never thought much about that part, in the former years. But as I approach 40 in the next few years, it's unavoidable. It’s a strange thing to recognize you’re no longer, gasp, a young person. 
 

And aside from myself, there are simply things closer to this side of life that I don’t want. However, time has no respect for my apprehension. No, it marches steadily on. Our only choice is to make ready ourselves and turn into the storm. 

 

The childish part of me wants to be sad and cry, “But I’m not ready!” As if that will somehow magically slow the clock and allow me more time. But it doesn’t, it can’t. It won’t. 

 

And so, I turn to the only place I can go. Because I know that in every moment where I feel “not ready,” scripture will light my path, even the one I don’t want to walk. 

 And truthfully, I want to walk through all the seasons of life with grace and humility, and dare I say, joy. I want my children to see and know that we can do all things through Him, especially the things we don’t want to do. Even the things we’re afraid of. 

 

Proverbs 18:10

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

 

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, 

an ever-present help in times of trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, 

though the earth is transformed 

and the mountains are toppled 

into the depths of the seas.

 

I’m so thankful that in my apprehension and uncertainty, I can run to the refuge of my Savior. He will walk graciously with me and uphold me as he leads me into all the places I don’t want to go and, in my flesh, long to resist. Furthermore, I’m thankful he doesn’t let me stay where I am. 

 

I have this picture in my head where a person (me) is stuck in place, knowing they’re being called to keep moving, but as they glimpse what’s ahead, can’t bring themselves to go. 

But for Christ. But for a Savior, who comes beside. He draws near and I imagine it’s like wrapping an arm around my shoulder gently saying, “Come with me.” 

And then purely by His grace alone my feet can move forward again. Though my flesh wants to resist, my spirit longs to go with my Savior, wherever He leads. 

 

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

 

So off we go again, one foot in front of the other. Knowing full well that at some point we’ll step into all the places I’m afraid of, and don’t want to go. And that’s when I’ll remember that my Savior still walks beside me, offering me His strength and GRACE.*

 

 

Now your worries might be different than mine in this season of life. Maybe it’s the white-hot, searing pain of loss. Maybe it’s the wake of grief. Maybe it’s broken relationships. Maybe it’s a diagnosis. Or prognosis. Maybe it’s just fear of the future, or regret of the past. 

But no matter what it is, the response from our Savior is the same. He draws near, and with an arm around your shoulder, gently whispers, “Come with me.” 

 

As you enter the deepest valley or are holding on for dear life in the darkest storm, He’s steadily alongside. When there is no light, He will be the light. When your heart aches and nearly breaks into pieces, He’ll hold every one and tenderly mend them together again. 

 

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

 

John 8:12

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

 

Some of these roads are long and slow. And this is where we learn the beauty of faithfulness and longsuffering. We learn to carry our cross, as He did. Forever striving toward MORE of Him and LESS of me.

 

John 3:30

He must increase; I must decrease. 

 

As I continue to ponder all of these things, these scriptures resound again and again: 

 

Philippians 4:11-12

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

 

James 4:6*

But He gives us more and more grace [through the power of the Holy Spirit to defy sin and live an obedient life that reflects both our faith and our gratitude for our salvation]. Therefore, it says, “GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD and HAUGHTY, BUT [continually] GIVES [the gift of] GRACE TO THE HUMBLE [who turn away from self-righteousness].”

 

And this is my refrain as I move steadily forward, “He gives us more grace.” 

Now, come with me, let us walk on.